Author: Sign Page 3

For Old Dimes Sake

We are open on Labor Day.

Beware of the Dog. – The Cat is Not Trustworthy Either.

Please Note – As from 27th October all staff will be required to arrive at work with teeth – if you don’t have, please provide proof that you are getting some – thank you

Shoplifters Will Be Beaten Over the Head With an Organic Carrot

In memory of Leonard Ball, who hated fat people.

A-1 Sales & Services, Inc. – Tree, Debris & Stump Removal, Domain Names, Website Hosting & Development

Park At Your Own Risk Due To Possible Limb Failure

Private Driveway Protected By Mountian [sic] Lions

For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church.

Terminal Drugs

One shoe shined absolutely free.

The courtesy phone is temporarily out of service. For assistance please call 503-849….

Do not open this door when locked.

Beyond This Point You May Encounter Nude Sunbathers Eating Waffles

Irish you a Merry Christmas!

The Superstore — Unequaled in Size, Unmatched in Variety, Unrivaled Inconvenience

Caution – Heavy Plant Crossing

Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we diet!

Caution – No Warning Signs

No Shooting – Guest from Sept. 1st to Jan 1st