Keyword: Tennis

All gong and no dinner… we just wish Anna would finally win something aside from hearts.

Sports

A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men's singles event.

American comedian
Dating Relationships Sports

I don’t know that my behavior has improved all that much with age; they just found someone worse.

American professional tennis player
Sports

If you’re up against a girl with big boobs, bring her to the net and make her hit backhand volleys. It’s the hardest shot for the well-endowed; like when I used to beat Ann Jones, she could hit under them or over them but never through them.

American professional tennis player
Body Sports

She literally wiped the court with her opponent.

Misspokements Sports

The only thing I've noticed is that when I come into the locker room, they all bow.

(1956 – ) Czech American tennis player
Sports

That's one of the best sets I've seen him play[Tomas Zib] – although I should preface that by saying I haven't seen him play before

American professional tennis player
Misspokements Sports

The trouble with me is that every match I play against five opponents: umpire, crowd, ball boys, court, and myself.

Croatian professional tennis player
Sports

I’m trying to be a good guy, and I’m not that good a guy.

American professional tennis player
Sports

I know being a linesman is a thankless job, especially with guys like me around.

American professional tennis player
Sports

The Gullikson twins here; an interesting pair… both from Wisconsin.

Tennis commentator
Sports

They should send Borg away to another planet. We play tennis. He plays something else.

Romanian professional tennis player
Sports

Mixed doubles are always starting divorces. If you play with your wife, you fight with her. If you play with somebody else, she fights with you.

American professional tennis player
Marriage Sports

Tennis: a racquet sport in which two players compete to see who has the shortest temper, the worst memory, the poorest eyesight, and the slowest watch.

Sports

He offers more shots than a bar tending octopus or an allergist.

American journalist & tennis broadcaster
Sports

A mediocre player will sink to the level of his or her opposition.

Games Murphy’s Laws Sports

Give Chris a finger like I did and she’ll take the whole hand.

German professional tennis player
Sports

Doubles: Tennis game played by athletic couples who wish to burn a few calories while arguing.

Definitions Sports

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I’ll never be as good as a wall.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Sports

I’ve been in the twilight of my career longer than most people have had a career.

(1956 – ) Czech American tennis player
Sports Time

His left wrist is so strong that he’d knock his own teeth out if he didn’t brush them right-handed.

American journalist & tennis broadcaster
Sports