Quotes and One Liners

humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more

  • Home
  • About
  • Categories

    • Activities
    • Age
    • Animals
    • Appearance
    • Beliefs
    • Characteristics
    • Communication
    • Conflict
    • Death
    • Education
    • Emotions
    • Entertainment
    • Family
    • Food/Drink
    • Government
    • Health
    • Intelligence
    • Life
    • Marriage
    • Miscellaneous
    • Money
    • People
    • Places
    • Problems
    • Relationships
    • Science/Weather
    • Sex
    • Situations
    • Sports
    • Success
    • Things
    • Time
    • Work
  • Additional Categories

    • Book Titles
    • Confucius say
    • Definitions
    • Epitaphs
    • Exaggerations
    • Expressions
    • Hollywood Squares
    • Insults
    • Last Words
    • Murphy's Laws
    • Place Names
    • Proverbs
    • Reviews/Criticism
    • Song Titles
    • Tom Swifties
    • TV/Movie Quotes
  • Oops...

    • Bushisms
    • Church Bulletins
    • Classified Ads
    • Colemanballs
    • Headlines
    • Malaprops
    • Misspokements
    • Signs
    • Translations
    • Yogi-isms
  • Some Popular Authors

    • Abraham Lincoln
    • Alfred E. Neuman
    • Ambrose Bierce
    • Benjamin Franklin
    • Dave Barry
    • Demetri Martin
    • Dorothy Parker
    • Emo Phillips
    • George Carlin
    • Groucho Marx
    • H.L. Mencken
    • Homer Simpson
    • Jeff Foxworthy
    • Jimmy Carr
    • Joan Rivers
    • Mae West
    • Mark Twain
    • Mitch Hedberg
    • Oscar Wilde
    • Phyllis Diller
    • Richard Lewis
    • Rita Rudner
    • Rodney Dangerfield
    • Steven Wright
    • Stewart Francis
    • W.C. Fields
    • Will Rogers
    • Woody Allen
  • View All Authors

Keyword: Waiting

He has me sitting on pins and cushions waiting.

Jane Sherwood Ace
(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Misspokements Situations Needles Waiting

My dad told me, ‘Anything worth having is worth waiting for.’ I waited until I was fifteen.

Zsa Zsa Gabor
(1917 – 2016) Hungarian-born American actress
Sex Waiting

If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life.

Oscar Wilde
(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Time Waiting

The opposite of talking isn't listening; the opposite of talking is waiting.

Fran Lebowitz
(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Communication Conversation Speech Listening Waiting

I took a course in speed waiting… now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.

Rod Schmidt

Learning Time Waiting

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting.

Robert Benchley
(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
America Places Waiting

There is something wrong when you wait in line thirty minutes to get a hamburger that was cooked for ninety seconds an hour ago.

Lewis Grizzard Jr.
(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Food/Drink Time Hamburgers Restaurants Waiting













Copyright © Just-One-Liners.com