Subject: Classifieds


Usually unintentionally humorous classified ads, personal ads, notices or announcements as they appeared in various printed “Classified Ads” sections.

Righteous Kill – Pacino & Deniro play veteran cops on the trail of a cereal killer…

Notice: To person or persons who took the large pumpkin on highway 87 near Southridge Storage. Please return the pumpkin and be checked. Pumpkin may be radioactive. All other plants in vicinity are dead.

The Macon County Humane Society offers a free spay/neutering to senior citizens if they adopt an animal out of the animal shelter.

Home Made Portable Toilet. Great for parades $90/ 764-….

Manure Digester Summit, 9:30am–3pm, $20 includes lunch…

FOR SALE: Braille dictionary. Must see to appreciate! Call Jerry

Read Weight in the Palm of Your Hand! … No More Bending Over or Looking Down!

For Sale: Basketball Hoop and backboard. Only used for dunking kid brother.

FOR SALE • OLDER CLOTHES DRYER. Works well but needs new home. Will trade for 2 large packages Oreo double stuffed cookies (unopened). Phone…

Tickle Me Elmo, still in box, comes with it’s own 1988 mustang, 5l, auto, excellent condition $6800

Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

FOUND: Large, Obese Goldfish, 11 years old, blind as a bat

Mother’s helper – peasant working conditions.

A-Whole Chiropractic • Body Injury Experts • Auto/Work Accidents…

TOYOTA SCION • Coffin with 52 inch sunroof – $21,800

FREE Rent in exchange for elderly woman. 319-233-….

You're a brunette, 6', long legs, 25-30, intelligent, articulate and drop-dead gorgeous. I, on the other hand, am 4'10", have the looks of Herve Villechaize and carry an odor of wheat. No returns and no refunds at box…

German shepherd. 85 lbs. neutered. speaks German. free.

We have a large selection of shirts for both mens and ladies.

Nordic track $300 – hardly used – call Chubby.

Easygoing athletic SJM, 41, seeking SF, looks not important, must be tall, slim and attractive.

Help veterans in need with one click. The Veterans Site