Subject: Conflict (Page 16)

To avoid robbery, certainly rock the rocker room and keep the rocker key with you all the time. Also, we will not take any responsibility for the robbery.

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier… I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

I want you guys to know that if we ever get into real heavy combat… I'll be right behind you guys. Every step of the way.

(1944 – 2014) American actor, director & writer

Countries are making nuclear weapons like there is no tomorrow.

(1956 – ) American comedian

Smart bombs have bad days too.

Kleptomaniac: A person who helps himself because he can't help himself.

(1915 – 1994) American actor

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

Shoplifter Who Soiled Clothes Fails to Wipe Record Clean

Insider trading: Stealing too fast.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist

A fanatic is one who sticks to his guns whether they're loaded or not.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist

Claim victory and retreat.

You’ll get my assault weapon when you pry it out of my curious six-year-old’s cold dead hands.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian

You break into my house… my wife will shoot you, and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

The United States have developed a new weapon that destroys people but it leaves buildings standing; it's called the stock market.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host

God is not on the side of the big battalions, but on the side of those who shoot best.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist

When the Iraq war started … little did George Bush know.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

He has committed every crime that does not require courage.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author













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