Subject: Confucius say

Confucius say:

Jokes using puns and often risqué double-meanings 'fictitiously attributed' to Confucius, a famous Chinese philosopher (around 500 BC.) His name is used only to lend credence to the sayings of a “wise man.”

Confucius say… only one whose troubles are behind him, is a school bus driver.

Confucius say… streaker is someone who is unsuited for his work.

Confucius say… men in a singles bar have one thing in common… they're all married.

Confucius say… many men bite, but Fu Man Chu.

Confucius say… keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

Confucius say… don't confuse an open mind with one that's vacant.

Confucius say… man who run in front of car get tired.

Confucius say… nurse who goes missing at beach, can be found under the doc.

Confucius say… self-centered trumpet player, likes to toot his own horn.

Confucius say… you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

Confucius say… man who throw a cat out car window, makes kitty litter.

Confucius say… you know you are geek when you look at a movie trailer and think, "I have that font."

Confucius say… man who look to fortune cookie for advice probably make good busboy… ask waitress for application.

Confucius say… smart ass is someone who can sit on an ice cream cone and tell you what flavor it is.

Confucius say… man who drop watch in whisky wasting time.

Confucius say… marriage is like taking a bath… after you've been in it for a while, it isn't so hot.

Confucius say… gay man, who go on far, far away trip, hate leave friends behind.

Confucius say… there is one thing that all smart asses have in common… wise cracks

Confucius say… secretary becomes permanent fixture when screwed on desk!