Subject: Confucius say

Confucius say:

Jokes using puns and often risqué double-meanings 'fictitiously attributed' to Confucius, a famous Chinese philosopher (around 500 BC.) His name is used only to lend credence to the sayings of a “wise man.”

Confucius say… banker who sits in freezer, will have frozen assets.

Confucius say… difference between roast beef and pea soup is that anyone can roast beef.

Confucius say… sex is like vacation… it never lasts long enough.

Confucius say… man bobbing up and down in corn field is not planting grain.

Confucius say… nail on board is not good as screw on bench.

Confucius say… 'tis better to have loved a short woman than to have never loved a tall.

Confucius say… never tell a one legged hitch hiker to hop in.

Confucius say… man in bathroom with tool in hand is not necessarily a plumber.

Confucius say… virgin with thimble on finger, never feel prick.

Confucius say… man with forked tongue not need chop sticks.

Confucius say… man with big mouth beware of foot.

Confucius say… man who drop watch in whisky wasting time.

Confucius say… when the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

Confucius say… drunk who works at an upholstery shop is a recovering alcoholic.

Confucius say… man under wheelbarrow playing with tool, not necessarily mechanic.

Confucius say… transvestite is one who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

Confucius say… he who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise.

Confucius say… gay Australian man will leave his wife and return to Sydney.

Confucius say… people who say they never fart, are full of hot air.

Confucius say… geometry teacher who loses parrot, will have polygon.

Confucius say… who lay woman on ground, get peace on earth.

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