Subject: Confucius say

Confucius say:

Jokes using puns and often risqué double-meanings 'fictitiously attributed' to Confucius, a famous Chinese philosopher (around 500 BC.) His name is used only to lend credence to the sayings of a “wise man.”

Confucius say… man who put pea in soup very unclean.

Confucius say… good life is like toilet paper… long and useful.

Confucius say… self-centered trumpet player, likes to toot his own horn.

Confucius say… if you don't want anyone to get your goat, don't let them know where you have it tied.

Confucius say… is better to lose a lover than love a loser.

Confucius say… man who behaves like an ass will be the butt of those who crack jokes.

Confucius say… he who light the fuse of love, get big bang.

Confucius say… never cut rope that can be simply untied.

Confucius say… perfectionist is one who takes great pains, and gives them to everyone else.

Confucius say… man who tell one too many lightbulb joke soon burn out.

Confucius say… if woman meets a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift, she should exchange him.

Confucius say… don't confuse an open mind with one that's vacant.

Confucius say… epileptic lettuce farmer makes "seizure salad."

Confucius say… woman who fly airplane upside down have crack up.

Confucius say… he who stick head in open window get pane in neck.

Confucius say… many arguments have two sides, but no end.

Confucius say… man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

Confucius say… never tell a one legged hitch hiker to hop in.

Confucius say… man who put head on railroad track to listen for train likely to end up with splitting headache.

Confucius say… man have more hair on chest than woman, but on the whole woman have more.

Confucius say… if you want your dreams to come true, don't oversleep.

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