Subject: Confucius say

Confucius say:

Jokes using puns and often risqué double-meanings 'fictitiously attributed' to Confucius, a famous Chinese philosopher (around 500 BC.) His name is used only to lend credence to the sayings of a “wise man.”

Confucius say… man with five dicks will have pants that fit like a glove.

Confucius say… quietest place in the world is the complaint department at a parachute packing plant.

Confucius say… miners with illuminated helmets, will feel lightheaded.

Confucius say… argument between pharmacist and a patient is called a pill owe fight.

Confucius say… Van Gogh was a painter because he didn't have an ear for music.

Confucius say… man that is stuck in pantry has his ass in jam.

Confucius say… man that straddles the fence, gets a sore crotch.

Confucius say… economy will go up and down when country is run by yo-yo's.

Confucius say… artificial insemination is procreation without recreation.

Confucius say… man’s most important senses… horse and common.

Confucius say… baby conceived in back seat of automatic car grow up to be shiftless bastard.

Confucius say… you know you are geek when you look at a movie trailer and think, "I have that font."

Confucius say… man who take lady on camping trip, have one intent.

Confucius say… old grave digger is called an elderberry.

Confucius say… never take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Confucius say… salesperson who covers chair instead of territory always remains on bottom.

Confucius say… who mix poison ivy with four leaf clover, have rash of good luck.

Confucius say… alcohol is the cause of some problems and the solution to others.

Confucius say… student who study history, will find there is no future in it.

Confucius say… good life is like toilet paper… long and useful.