Subject: Confucius say

Confucius say:

Jokes using puns and often risqué double-meanings 'fictitiously attributed' to Confucius, a famous Chinese philosopher (around 500 BC.) His name is used only to lend credence to the sayings of a “wise man.”

Confucius say… butcher who back into meat-grinder, get a little behind in his orders.

Confucius say… optimist is a man who hasn't had many experiences yet.

Confucius say… kiss on the lips is just shopping upstairs for downstairs merchandise.

Confucius say… optimist is girl who regards a bulge as a curve.

Confucius say… karaoke is a Chinese word meaning tone deaf.

Confucius say… worm that falls asleep in King Arthur’s apple will wake up in middle of knight.

Confucius say… mummies who take vacation, will relax and unwind.

Confucius say… forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as gratifying.

Confucius say… butler with no teeth is called an in-dentured servant.

Confucius say… who lay woman on ground, get peace on earth.

Confucius say… Humpty Dumpty had a great fall… after a mediocre summer.

Confucius say… question authority and the authorities will question you.

Confucius say… man who kisses girl's behind, get a crack in the face.

Confucius say… man who eat many prunes, sit on toilet many moons.

Confucius say… never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.

Confucius say… you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

Confucius say… putting teenager in prison, won't stop his face from breaking out.

Confucius say… ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter is Eskimo Pi.

Confucius say… old grave digger is called an elderberry.

Confucius say… man who stand on toilet is high on pot.