Subject: Confucius say

Confucius say:

Jokes using puns and often risqué double-meanings 'fictitiously attributed' to Confucius, a famous Chinese philosopher (around 500 BC.) His name is used only to lend credence to the sayings of a “wise man.”

Confucius say… argument between pharmacist and a patient is called a pill owe fight.

Confucius say… nail on board is not good as screw on bench.

Confucius say… man who farts in church sits in own pew.

Confucius say… vagina is like a very small hotel… one must leave his bag outside.

Confucius say… question authority and the authorities will question you.

Confucius say… men are like fish… neither would get in trouble if they kept their mouths shut.

Confucius say… by the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

Confucius say… birds of a feather flock together… then crap on your car.

Confucius say… couple on seven day honeymoon make whole week.

Confucius say… tears are the hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water power.

Confucius say… man who look to fortune cookie for advice probably make good busboy… ask waitress for application.

Confucius say… first breathe of love is last breath of wisdom.

Confucius say… cigarette is a pinch of tobacco, wrapped in paper, fire at one end, fool at the other.

Confucius say… who pushes piano down mineshaft get A flat miner.

Confucius say… take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.

Confucius say… man in bathroom with tool in hand is not necessarily a plumber.

Confucius say… forbidden fruits make many jams.

Confucius say… creative Chinese chef without utensils can still find ways to stir soup.

Confucius say… woman who wear G-string, high on crack!

Confucius say… man that straddles the fence, gets a sore crotch.

Confucius say… woman who wears padded bra, makes mountains out of molehills.

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