Subject: Confucius say

Confucius say:

Jokes using puns and often risqué double-meanings 'fictitiously attributed' to Confucius, a famous Chinese philosopher (around 500 BC.) His name is used only to lend credence to the sayings of a “wise man.”

Confucius say… man’s mind is like parachute; works best when open.

Confucius say… streaker is someone who is unsuited for his work.

Confucius say… who jumps through screen door likely to strain himself.

Confucius say… man who eat sweets take up two seats.

Confucius say… live each day as if it were your last, because someday it will be.

Confucius say… man with his hands in pockets feels foolish, but a man with holes in pockets feels nuts.

Confucius say… he who eat cookies in bed will wake up feeling crumby.

Confucius say… friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg even though you're slightly cracked.

Confucius say… constipated people don't give a crap.

Confucius say… ulcers aren't the result of what you eat; you get ulcers from what's eating you.

Confucius say… schoolboy who plays with schoolgirl during wrong period get caught red-handed.

Confucius say… house without toilet is uncanny.

Confucius say… man who eat many prunes, sit on toilet many moons.

Confucius say… Amish woman's secret fantasy is two Mennonite.

Confucius say… man have more hair on chest than woman, but on the whole woman have more.

Confucius say… penis is the only thing that a woman hopes she will find hard to handle.

Confucius say… solving problems, dig at the roots instead of hacking at the leaves.

Confucius say… girl's best asset is her ‘lie' ability.

Confucius say… woman who marry detective must kiss dick.