Subject: Confucius say

Confucius say:

Jokes using puns and often risqué double-meanings 'fictitiously attributed' to Confucius, a famous Chinese philosopher (around 500 BC.) His name is used only to lend credence to the sayings of a “wise man.”

Confucius say… take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.

Confucius say… man who comes into money, have sticky financial situation.

Confucius say… man who look to fortune cookie for advice probably make good busboy… ask waitress for application.

Confucius say… to circumcise whale, send down four skin divers.

Confucius say… man who put head on railroad track to listen for train likely to end up with splitting headache.

Confucius say… alcohol is the cause of some problems and the solution to others.

Confucius say… banker who sits in freezer, will have frozen assets.

Confucius say… gay man in Chinese restaurant will order sum yung guy.

Confucius say… ulcers aren't the result of what you eat; you get ulcers from what's eating you.

Confucius say… cheap prostitute offer more bang for your buck.

Confucius say… there is one thing that all smart asses have in common… wise cracks

Confucius say… if you park, don't drink… accidents cause people.

Confucius say… women are like lawn mowers… if you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it.

Confucius say… man who have circumcision lose foresight.

Confucius say… by the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

Confucius say… Taliban's national bird is duck.

Confucius say… man’s wife his better half, mistress his better whole.

Confucius say… if you think you’re going to sum up your whole life on this little bit of paper, you’re crazy.

Confucius say… girl who have red hair have red hair, by cracky.

Confucius say… dry cleaner who is in a hurry for a date, will be pressed for time.

Confucius say… he who places head in sand, will get kicked in the end!