Subject: Confucius say

Confucius say:

Jokes using puns and often risqué double-meanings 'fictitiously attributed' to Confucius, a famous Chinese philosopher (around 500 BC.) His name is used only to lend credence to the sayings of a “wise man.”

Confucius say… geometry teacher who loses parrot, will have polygon.

Confucius say… if you want to watch the world pass you by, try driving the speed limit.

Confucius say… sperm sample from Nobel Prize winner is called, 'Stroke of Genius.'

Confucius say… drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.

Confucius say… foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

Confucius say… drunk who works at an upholstery shop is a recovering alcoholic.

Confucius say… woman with big breasts has high-rise accommodation.

Confucius say… butler with no teeth is called an in-dentured servant.

Confucius say… if the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

Confucius say… house without toilet is uncanny.

Confucius say… who mix poison ivy with four leaf clover, have rash of good luck.

Confucius say… man who tell one too many lightbulb joke soon burn out.

Confucius say… when wife complain too much about no magic in marriage, husband will disappear.

Confucius say… sex is the only activity where you start at the top and work your way to the bottom, while getting a rise.

Confucius say… balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Confucius say… ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter is Eskimo Pi.

Confucius say… just one letter makes all the difference between here and there.

Confucius say… every woman with a curve, there are several men with angles.

Confucius say… shotgun wedding is a case of wife or death.

Confucius say… who mix Rogaine with Viagra will end up hard headed.

Confucius say… man who put cream in tart, not always baker.

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