Subject: Confucius say

Confucius say:

Jokes using puns and often risqué double-meanings 'fictitiously attributed' to Confucius, a famous Chinese philosopher (around 500 BC.) His name is used only to lend credence to the sayings of a “wise man.”

Confucius say… time flies like an arrow… fruit flies like bananas.

Confucius say… you will die alone and poorly dressed.

Confucius say… who wants to kill a circus troupe, should go for the juggler.

Confucius say… he who plays with self, pulls boner.

Confucius say… who start crystal ball factory, bound to make a fortune.

Confucius say… man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants!

Confucius say… to get an Irishman to climb on the roof, tell him that the drinks are on the house.

Confucius say… just one letter makes all the difference between here and there.

Confucius say… woman who fall in love with elevator operator, usually get the shaft.

Confucius say… sperm sample from Nobel Prize winner is called, 'Stroke of Genius.'

Confucius say… shotgun wedding is a case of wife or death.

Confucius say… egotist is a person more interested in himself, than in me.

Confucius say… first breathe of love is last breath of wisdom.

Confucius say… Australian Kiss is similar to French Kiss, but given down under.

Confucius say… baby conceived in back seat of automatic car grow up to be shiftless bastard.

Confucius say… newscaster who reports hurricanes, knows how to talk up a storm.

Confucius say… lady who slide down bannister, get slivers by cracky!

Confucius say… difference between wives and husbands is: wives want to videotape birth of child, husbands the conception.

Confucius say… Dalmatians can't play hide and seek, because they are always spotted.

Confucius say… police will arrest a transvestite, and charge him with male fraud.

Confucius say… who checks out woman's package, doesn't always work for UPS.

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