Subject: Confucius say

Confucius say:

Jokes using puns and often risqué double-meanings 'fictitiously attributed' to Confucius, a famous Chinese philosopher (around 500 BC.) His name is used only to lend credence to the sayings of a “wise man.”

Confucius say… marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.

Confucius say… wise man makes sure that his wife's birthday cake is short one candle.

Confucius say… may be a fool and not know it… but not if he is married.

Confucius say… man with his hands in pockets feels foolish, but a man with holes in pockets feels nuts.

Confucius say… prisoners complain behind bars, husbands complain in them.

Confucius say… man who cut self while shaving, lose face.

Confucius say… sex is like vacation… it never lasts long enough.

Confucius say… it is not what you wear, it is how you take it off.

Confucius say… flying saucer will appear when a nudist spills his coffee.

Confucius say… man who put head it fruit drink, get punch in nose.

Confucius say… those who get to big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

Confucius say… lady who slide down bannister,get slivers by cracky!

Confucius say… two wrongs may not make a right; but two Wrights made an airplane.

Confucius say… who start crystal ball factory, bound to make a fortune.

Confucius say… man with head up ass, can't see for shit.

Confucius say… man who cries while he masturbates is a real tearjerker.

Confucius say… even a fish can escape being caught, if it keeps its mouth shut.

Confucius say… bad singers break into song because they can't find the key.

Confucius say… virginity like balloon… one prick – all gone.

Confucius say… it take many nails to build crib, only one screw to fill it.