Subject: Confucius say

Confucius say:

Jokes using puns and often risqué double-meanings 'fictitiously attributed' to Confucius, a famous Chinese philosopher (around 500 BC.) His name is used only to lend credence to the sayings of a “wise man.”

Confucius say… handkerchief should be called cold storage.

Confucius say… Eskimos go to Tupperware parties to find a tight seal.

Confucius say… beauty is only a light switch away.

Confucius say… mummies who take vacation, will relax and unwind.

Confucius say… half of a large intestine is equal to one semicolon.

Confucius say… masturbation is a solo played on a private organ.

Confucius say… alarm clock is something that makes people rise and whine.

Confucius say… vitamins are good for what ails you – Viagra is good for what fails you.

Confucius say… 'tis better to have loved a short woman than to have never loved a tall.

Confucius say… foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

Confucius say… kiss on the lips is just shopping upstairs for downstairs merchandise.

Confucius say… newscaster who reports hurricanes, knows how to talk up a storm.

Confucius say… many men bite, but Fu Man Chu.

Confucius say… to make egg roll, push it.

Confucius say… man who have hand in pocket not just jingling change.

Confucius say… man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss balloons.

Confucius say… man who eat sweets take up two seats.

Confucius say… lawyer is someone who writes an eighty-page document and calls it a brief.

Confucius say… if you run into your ex on the street, just shift into reverse and keep going.

Confucius say… Mother's Day comes nine months after Father's Day.