Subject: Entertainment

Jazz: Music invented for the torture of imbeciles.

(1852 – 1933) author, educator & clergyman

Ladies and gentlemen, I've suffered for my music… now it's your turn.

(1944 – ) English actor, musician & comic writer

Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.

(1924 – 1984) American author

Entertainment is a thing of the past, today we’ve got television.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

He makes you feel more danced against than with.

The mama of Dada.

(1904 – 1999) author, editor, radio host

Our comedies are not to be laughed at.

(1879 – 1974) film producer

I do not see plays, because I can nap at home for free.

(1934 – ) American actress, dancer, activist & author

The problem with women in an orchestra is that if they’re attractive it will upset my players and if they’re not it will upset me.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor

He has Van Gogh's ear for music.

Charles Farrar Browne (1834 – 1867) humorist

What do you want me to do … stop shooting now and release it as The Five Commandments?

(1881 – 1959) American film director & producer

Liking both Marvin Gaye and Art Garfunkel is like supporting both the Israelis and the Palestinians.

(1966 – ) American film actor, producer & screenwriter

A movie so good they named a country after it.

(1940 – ) American-born British screenwriter, film director, animator & actor (Monty Python’s Flying Circus)

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Anonymous: Is Ringo the best drummer in the world?

Lennon: He’s not even the best drummer in the band.

(1940 – 1980) English rock musician, singer & songwriter

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

The first Presidential debate was down in Florida and residents spent all day putting plywood on their televisions.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host

You ever look for the remote control and can’t find it, so you just decide, ‘Ah, it looks like I’m not watching TV.”

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor

If you really want to help the American theater darling, be an audience.

(1903 – 1968) movie actress

The critic has to educate the public; the artist has to educate the critic.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

Accordion: An instrument whose music is long drawn out.

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