Subject: Entertainment

Australia's gift to insomniacs; it's nothing but the blonde singing the bland.

(1947 – 1979) American singer

To Raoul Walsh a tender love scene is burning down a whorehouse.

(1892 – 1978) Canadian-American film producer (Warner Brothers)

She ought to be arrested for loitering in front of an orchestra.

(1945 – ) singer, actress & comedian

On an average day 7 minutes of news happens. Yet there are currently three full-time, 24-hour news networks.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian

You might be a redneck if… an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.

(1924 – 1984) American author

Erin Brockovich
Screwed
My Dog Skip

I don't know what was wrong with my television last night, but I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station, and I actually bought a congressman.

(1951 – ) American comedian & writer

For every little kid who still believes in Santa Claus, there is at least one adult who still believes in professional wrestling.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

Last night, me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back… luckily, I was the one facing the telly.

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian

It's not music, it's a disease.

(1911 – 2010) American bandleader

Keanu Reeves, perhaps worried that he was showing too much range, has purged himself of all expression apart from a worried frown and a sorrowful grimace.

(1966 – ) American journalist & film critic

The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor

Acting is merely the art of keeping a large number of people from coughing.

(1902 – 1983) English actor

Get up from that piano; you hurtin' its feelings.

(1885 – 1945) American ragtime and early jazz pianist, bandleader & composer

Even when you are not playing you are holding me back.

(1899 – 1985) Hungarian-born conductor & violinist

If there are only two shows worth watching, they will be on at the same time.

I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host

[Art is] the reasoned derangement of the senses.

(1905 – 1982) American poet, translator & critical essayist

The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.

(1909 – 2000) Danish-born comedian & pianist

The scratch on the record is through the song you like most.

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