Subject: Entertainment

If opera is entertainment, then falling off a roof is transportation!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

The scene is dull; tell him to put more life into his dying.

(1879 – 1974) film producer

Beethoven always sounds to me like the upsetting of a bag of nails, with here and there also a dropped hammer.

(1819 – 1900) English art critic, social thinker, poet & artist

Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian

I could eat alphabet soup and shit better lyrics.

(1909 – 1976) American lyricist, songwriter & singer

A musical is the same as a burlap sack, I would not want to be in either.

(1973 – ) American comedian

Sophia Loren plays peasants; I play ladies.

(1927 – ) Italian actress & photojournalist

The titles are listed on the movie theater marquis.

Musicals: a series of catastrophes ending with a floorshow.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor

You know, I go to the theatre to be entertained… I don’t want to see plays about rape, sodomy and drug addiction… I can get all that at home.

(1937 – 1995) English satirist, writer & comedian

I think TV is very educational; every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

Radio is the theater of the mind; television is the theater of the mindless.

(1921 – 2000) comedian, television host, musician, actor & writer

Does it have a happy ending?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

A pun is the lowest form of humor – when you don't think of it first.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor

It would have been cheaper to lower the Atlantic.

(1906 – 1998) Russian-born English film producer & media mogul

Stand-Up [comedy] is a lot like sex; there's a lot of crying involved and I get paid to do it.

(1982 – ) American actress & comedian

The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing.

(1929 – 2005) British actor & comedian

Theatre director: a person engaged by the management to conceal the fact that the players cannot act.

(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

An artist is somebody who produces things that people don’t need to have.

(1928 – 1987) painter, printmaker & filmmaker
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