Author: Oscar Levant

Strip the phony tinsel off Hollywood and you'll find the real tinsel underneath.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Hollywood Places

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Communication Language

So little time and so little to do.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Activities Time

She has the answer to everything and the solution to nothing.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Characteristics Insults

I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Health

I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Memory

Epigram: A wisecrack that played Carnegie Hall.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Communication Definitions Language

Once he makes up his mind, he's full of indecision.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Insults Intelligence

Tell me George, if you had to do it all over would you fall in love with yourself again?

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Insults

Marriage is a triumph of habit over hate.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Emotions Marriage

I made a comment to a newspaper about therapists saying that people should not become dependent on them and it got printed as, "The rapists say . . . "

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Communication

There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Beliefs Characteristics Opinion

He'll doublecross that bridge when he comes to it.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Characteristics Government Insults

I smile so seldom that I wonder at Arlene Francis, who smiles persistently… like the Sorcerer's Apprentice, once she turns it on can she turn it off?

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
People Reviews/Criticism

I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like going to bed with a good book… or a friend who’s read one.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Age Books Friends People Sex Sleep

A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Communication Entertainment Language

I knew her before she was a virgin.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Age Old

I treasure every moment that I do not see her.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Insults

When I can’t sleep, I read a book by Steve Allen.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Books Insults Reading/Writing Situations

When I was young, I looked like Al Capone but I lacked his compassion.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
People Self

It's not what you are but what you don't become that hurts.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
People Self