Subject: Government » Military

Troops: Expendable bodies sent by the government to stop bullets during obscure foreign uprisings.

There are three types of intelligence: the intelligence of man, the intelligence of animals and the intelligence of the military… in that order.

(1911 – 1994) German film director & producer

If we had less statesmanship we could get along with fewer battleships.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

It's not the bullet with your name on it; it's the shrapnel addressed to ‘occupant’ you've got to worry about.

The one item you need is always in short supply.

I wanted to join the Army… the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be'… they told me it wasn't enough.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic

Automatic weapons – aren’t.

All battles are fought at the junction of two or more map sheets… printed at different scales.

The tough part about being an officer is that the troops don't know what they want, but they know for certain what they don't want.

Recoilless rifles – aren’t.

Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep

Surprise is an event that takes place only in the mind of a commander.

The Cavalry doesn’t always come to the rescue.

Rear: In American military matters, that exposed part of the army that is nearest to Congress.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill.

The more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war.

If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually a stupid solution.

Ain’t it funny how many hundreds of thousands of soldiers we can recruit with nerve; but we can’t find one politician in a million with backbone.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

Anything you can do can get you killed – including doing nothing.

Density of fire increases proportionally to the curiousness of the target.

If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.

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