Subject: Classifieds (Page 24)

HELP WANTED – Helpdesk Technician @ Pentagon

*1990 SUBARU Justy. 5-speed, fuel injection, new brake and drum. New exhaust system, 4 new street tires and 2 studded. Body in great shape. Engine gone, but still runs. $500. 247-….

If you have one of these symptoms, please call this 800 number – Death, Heartburn, …

Mother’s helper – peasant working conditions.

Buy your new bedroom suite from us, and we will stand behind it for six months.

SPANISH TOOTER NEEDED FOR A 7 year old student, learn to speak and write fluently. Call after 6 pm. 467-….

Ahigrim & Sons Lts. Funeral Parlor and Mini-Golf, 201 N. Northwest Hwy., Palatine, (847) 358-….

Help Wanted – “Must dominate the English language” – Call: (917) 797-….

Views plus spacious 1554 sq. ft. home with large lot, family room with fireplace, huge dick for entertaining? …

Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

SYTLE – our name says it all. Guaranteed the best, males, escorts. Phone 302-….

Bring a friend, and each of you can receive a facial for the price of one facial.

HANDSOME RAKE – Out of work leaf raker/bagger seeks whimsical beauty with unkempt auburn orc hestnut hair, cool with coarse hands and a penchant for whistling. mellow… mo, 28, …

Top Money Paid!! Are you willing to be prodded and probed in the orfice [sic] of our choice – all in the name of science?

HELP WANTED – Eyebrow Threading

GET MARRIED in a furniture store $99. Have your funeral in a furniture store. $99. Both for $150. Dollar-A-Day Lease Purchase 1015 Central Avenue 624-….

FOR SALE: 1993 Chevy Lumina. Black exterior with beige interior. Runs and drives great. Sorry, no tires included.

Restaurant Assistant Manager: Applicants with the necessary experience need not apply.

Unique Ford – only 5 minutes from Bedford – Just Across from the Women’s Prison

FREE TO GOOD HOME – Beautiful 6 mo. old male kitten — orange & caramel tabby, playful, friendly very affectionate, ideal for family w/ kids. OR Handsome 32 yr. old husband – personable, funny, good job, but doesn't like cats. Says he goes or cat goes. Call Jennifer 265-…. — come see both and decide which you'd like.

Garden Girl – I will pull, pluck, pick & plant for you! – Husband left me – Don’t want to starve – Left to my own means – Real good at gardening – Spring cleanups – Please hire me so I don’t starve to death. Free Estimates 443-362-….