Subject: Classifieds (Page 4)

TOYOTA SCION • Coffin with 52 inch sunroof – $21,800

Classifieds

GET MARRIED in a furniture store $99. Have your funeral in a furniture store. $99. Both for $150. Dollar-A-Day Lease Purchase 1015 Central Avenue 624-….

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Hummels – largest selection ever – if it’s in stock, we have it!

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XXLarge Nursing Uniform, Never been washed.

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TURKEY – FOR SALE. Partially eaten. Only eight days old. Both drumsticks still intact. $23.00 OBO

Classifieds

It feels like your favorite easy chair. Only faster.

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Are you Kate Bush?’ Write to obsessive man (36). Note, people who aren't Kate Bush need not respond.

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hairorobert – IF WE CAN’T MAKE YOU LOOK GOOD… YOU UGLY! – 757-….

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Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

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CARL’S OXFORD DINER – Mention This Ad for a Free Ice Water – 291 Main St. Oxford

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TO LET: 4 bedroom house close to town. No poets.

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Bring a smile to a child's face with a life-threatening illness.

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FOR SALE – Eight puppies from a German Shepperd and an Alaskan Hussy.

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Car Sitting Services: Are you going away for a long trip? Are you afraid your car will be lonely, or worse yet, stolen!? I can protect your car and take it for long drives to keep it company. I can even drop you off and pick you up at the airport using your car (at my convenience)! Cheap rates! Call [telephone] and ask for One-tooth Tony.

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DO YOU USE COUPONS? Up to $20 worth FREE Grocery Coupons. Choose From over 1,200 Name Brands. Grocery Coupon Book $24.95

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Dillards 60% off Christmas Sale! – From December 14–21 Dillards will be having the largest sale of the year on cloths, toys, fits, household items, furniture and jewelry, shoes, hats, mens wear and evening wear, just in time for Christmas! There will be a Special Appearance by Satan between the hours of 5pm until 9pm for your kids!… [sic]

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Personal Announcements: S. Paraskos and Helen Walker would like to announce that they are no longer engaged.
Engagement: S.Paraskos of Paphos, Cyprus, and Nicola Jared of UK would like to announce their engagement. – Cyprus Weekly

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Georgia peaches, California grown – 89 cents lb.

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CAB DRIVERS WANTED – Nights & weekends. Must have good driving & criminal record. Apply in person, 151 Elm St.

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Ground beast, 99 cents/lb.

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WANTED. Hunting rifle, suitable for teenagers.

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