Subject: Communication (Page 72)

Diplomacy: To do and say the nastiest thing in the nicest way. 

(1887 – 1938) American journalist, author, editor & lecturer
Characteristics Communication

Any child who chatters nonstop at home will adamantly refuse to utter a word when requested to demonstrate for an audience.

Children Communication Family Murphy’s Laws Old Speech

‘Pessimist’ is a word used by optimists to describe someone who sees the world for what it really is.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Communication Language Life

You know who really gives kids a bad name? … Posh and Becks.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Children Communication Wordplay

About sentence fragments.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

About as modest as Mussolini.

(1941 – ) American singer & songwriter
Communication

Throwing acid is wrong, in some people’s eyes.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Communication Language

Did I already tell you my Alzheimer's joke?

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language

The first coherent line ever spoken was ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Communication Intelligence Speech Understanding

When someone tells me they're from Switzerland I think, that's a red flag.

Comedian & writer
Communication Wordplay

The enemy never monitors your radio frequency until you broadcast on an unsecured channel.

Communication Military

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Communication Intelligence Life Places Science/Weather

As through this world I've wandered I've seen lots of funny men; some will rob you with a six-gun, and some with a fountain pen.

(1912 – 1967) American singer-songwriter & folk musician
Communication Conflict Crime Reading/Writing

I read the greens in Spanish, but putt in English.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Golf Language Sports

If pro is the opposite of con, what's the opposite of progress?

(1918 – 2009) radio broadcaster
Communication Wordplay

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

(1952 – ) American writer & comedian
Communication Emotions Entertainment Laughter

Never say “Oops” always say “Ah, interesting!”

Communication Mistakes Problems Speech

Join clauses good like a conjunction should.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.

Communication Problems Speech

Yes, so it does.

(1869 – 1931) American politician
Miscellaneous Wordplay

Oh good, now he’ll be bi-ignorant.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Communication Insults Intelligence Language