Subject: Communication (Page 72)

You're just wasting your breath and that's no great loss either!

(1904 – 1979) Jewish-American humorist, author & screenwriter
Communication Insults

Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.


Communication Reading/Writing

Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

I’ve never read an article of clothing.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Appearance Clothing Reading/Writing

You will, Oscar, you will.

(1834 – 1903) American-born, British-based artist
Communication Speech

My first words were ‘Seconds, please.’

(1953 – ) American comedian & television host
Communication Eating Food/Drink Self Speech

I will not go down to posterity talking bad grammar.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Communication Language Last words

What's the opposite of opposite?

(1980 – ) English comedian, television and radio presenter & actor
Communication Wordplay

The words “don't" and “isn’t” are contraptions.

Communication Language Malaprops

The wind doesn't bother me… I'm in the U.S. Senate.

(1923 – ) U.S. senator (Kansas) & presidential candidate
Communication Government Politicians Speech

Alarm Clock: That which scares the daylight out of you.

Definitions Wordplay

Books are for people who don't have ideas of their own.

(1984 – ) American stand-up comedian
Books Communication Ideas Intelligence

And always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said, “A truck!”

(1956 – ) American comedian
Communication Death Family Language Last words

Literature is mostly about having sex and not much about having children; life is the other way round.

(1935 – ) British author
Books Children Communication Family Life Reading/Writing Sex

Why is it that when anything goes without saying, it never does?

writer
Communication Speech

My method is to take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say, and then to say it with the utmost levity.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Communication Emotions Speech

There comes a time in every man’s life… and I’ve had many of them.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Communication Death Misspokements Speech Time

Dave drowned; so at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt; well, it’s what he would have wanted.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Communication Wordplay

The book you spent $20.95 for today will come out in paperback tomorrow.

Books Communication Money Murphy’s Laws

Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Baseball Language Music

We work in the toy department.

(1909 – 1973) American sports journalist
Communication Reading/Writing Sports