Subject: Conflict » Arms (Page 2)

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Arms Conflict Things

Mines are equal opportunity weapons.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws

Any ship can be a minesweeper… once.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws War

Fun Stuff: Walk into a gun store, buy three guns and a bunch of ammunition, then ask them if they have any ski masks.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Arms Conflict

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Arms Sports

L.A. is very dangerous; I carry a gun in my car, that way, in case the police stop me, I can fend them off until the press gets there.

American actor & writer
Arms Conflict Places

The NRA is not pro-gun, they’re anti-varmint.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Arms Conflict

One failed attempt at a shoe bomb and we all take off our shoes at the airport; thirty-one school shootings since Columbine and no change in our regulation of guns.

(1977 – ) British political comedian & television host
Arms Conflict TV/Movie Quotes

The United States has developed a new weapon that destroys people but it leaves buildings standing; it's called the stock market.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Arms Conflict Money

Smart bombs have bad days too.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws

When in doubt, empty the magazine.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun.

America Arms Conflict People Places

I like going to the park and watching the children run and jump around, because you see, they don't know I'm using blanks.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Arms Children People Things

Those who hammer their guns into ploughs will plough for those who do not.

(1743 – 1826) American Founding Father & 3rd U.S. president
Arms Conflict

Those who beat their swords into plowshares will plow for those who don't.

Arms Government Military Murphy’s Laws

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the states, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
America Arms Things

Buying my wife a gun is sort of like me saying, 'You know, I kinda want to kill myself, but I want it to be a surprise.'

(1963 – ) American stand-up comedian
Arms Conflict Killing Situations

Do you ever go into a store and you happen to be carrying something that they sell in that store and then start to get all paranoid that they're going to think that you stole it? … That happened to me recently at the gun store.

(1972 – ) stand-up comedian & writer
Arms Conflict Situations

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Arms People Things

When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85; that’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship.

(1932 – 2017) comedian, social activist, critic & writer
Arms Conflict

Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

Arms Military Money Murphy’s Laws