Subject: Death (Page 28)

You can be on the right track and still get hit by a train!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Death Life Situations

An epitaph is a belated advertisement for a line of goods that has been discontinued.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
Death Epitaphs

My design is to make what haste I can to be gone.

(1599 – 1658) English military & political leader
Last words

Death and taxes are inevitable.

(1796-1865) Canadian politician, judge & author
Death

How many people died from the Kama Sutra, as opposed to the Bible?

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Beliefs Death

My struggle to remain healthy is gradually killing me.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Death Health

It's stopped.

(1791 – 1863) English surgeon & literary executor of Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Last words

He’s the type of man who will end up dying in his own arms.

(1931 – ) American actress & singer
Characteristics Death Insults

He died of cirrhosis of the liver… it costs money to die of cirrhosis of the liver.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Death Health Money

They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance!

(1813 – 1864) American teacher & Union Army general in the Civil War
Death Government Military

My wife and I took out life insurance policies on each other – so now it’s just a waiting game.

(1962 – ) American stand-up comedian & game show host
Death Husbands Marriage Wives

I've had eighteen straight whiskies, I think that's the record.

(1914 – 1953) Welsh-born poet & writer
Last words

Time: That which man is always trying to kill, but which ends in killing him.

(1820 – 1903) English philosopher
Death Time

Suppose, suppose.

(1848 – 1929) American frontier law enforcement officer
Last words