Subject: Definitions (Page 38)

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Negotiating: The art of persuading your opponent to take the nice shiny copper penny and give you the wrinkled old paper money.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Money

Neighbor: One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions People

Voting: A process of standing in line for the opportunity to help decide which party will spend your money.

Definitions

Dog: The only friend you can buy for money.

Animals Definitions Dogs

Wink: A whether signal.

Definitions

Unwed Mother: One who helps perpetuate the genes of an unwed father, without the latter’s talent for becoming invisible at will.

Definitions Family

Parents: One of the hardships of a minor’s life.

Definitions Family Parents

Intuition: Suspicion in skirts.

Definitions

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Definitions

Tact: The knack of making a point without making an enemy.

Communication Definitions

Summer camp is where the parents spend a thousand dollars so their daughter can learn to make a fifty-cent potholder.

Definitions Places

Fruitcake: The gift that keeps on giving.

Definitions

X Chromosome: a genetic double-cross that empowers women with the ability to bear children and reserves for men the right to be color-blind hemophiliacs.

Definitions Men People

Elephant: A mouse built to government specifications.

(1907 – 1988) science fiction author
Animals Definitions

Armor: A knight gown.

Clothing Definitions

Acrimony: The holy state of being married.

Definitions Marriage

Social Diseases: Germs of endearment.

Definitions

Old Age: When you find yourself using one bend-over to pick up two things.

Age Definitions Old

Anoint: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.

Definitions

Newborn Baby: Fresh heir.

Definitions

Atrophy: An award given to those who do not exercise.

Activities Definitions