Subject: Definitions (Page 39)

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Originality: The art of concealing your source.

Definitions

Dance: The action of moving rhythmically to music with a partner, a skill which a woman possesses naturally, but which a man acquires only for the short time in his young adulthood when he wishes to meet and impress young women, and abandons thereafter due to mysterious knee injuries.

Dance Definitions Entertainment

Desk: A dangerous place from which to view the world.

Definitions

Radical: Anyone whose opinion differs from ours.

Beliefs Definitions People

Shakespeare: A man whose writings are so excellent it’s believed someone else must have written them.

Definitions

Tricycle: A tot rod.

Definitions

Newlywed: What you and your spouse will officially be considered until your first anniversary, or until you go an entire week without sex (whichever comes first).

Definitions Marriage

Life: A sexually transmitted disease with 100% fatality rate.

Definitions Life

Trojan Horse: A phony pony.

Definitions

Jealousy: The tribute mediocrity pays to genius.

Characteristics Definitions

Accordion: An instrument whose music is long drawn out.

Definitions Entertainment Music Things

Atomic Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Definitions

Bachelor: A guy who is footloose and fiancee-free.

Definitions Men People

Old age is when you know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Age Definitions Old

Absolute Pitch: Completely dark.

Definitions

Delta: A river with its mouth full of mud.

Definitions

Foreign Aid: The transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.

Definitions

Spilt Milk: Udder waste.

Definitions Food/Drink Wordplay

Congress: A body of men brought together to slow down the government.

Congress Definitions Government

Internship: A sleepless ordeal imposed on young M.D.’s for the purpose of weeding out the weak and infirm among them, and eroding the health of the survivors sufficiently to ensure better empathy in the years to come.

Definitions Doctors

Bad Driver: The person you run into.

Autos Definitions Things