Subject: Definitions (Page 43)

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Consult: To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Dentures: Two rows of artificial ivories that may be removed periodically to frighten one's grandchildren or provide accompaniment to Spanish music.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Assembly Line: The notion that if a job is worth doing, it’s worth repeating 9,876 times a day.

Definitions

Bogey: The number of strokes needed to finish a hole by a golfer of average skill and above-average honesty.

Definitions Golf Sports

Groom: Least important member of wedding party, whose only duties are to show up on time, remember the ring, and try not to be drunk.

Definitions Husbands Marriage

Martyr: One who moves along the line of least reluctance to a desired death.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Death Definitions Language

Respirator: An apparatus fitted over the nose and mouth… whereby to filter the visible universe in its passage to the lungs.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Things

Good Old Days: What people fifty years hence will be calling the present time.

Definitions Past Time

Newlywed: What you and your spouse will officially be considered until your first anniversary, or until you go an entire week without sex (whichever comes first).

Definitions Marriage

Employment Agency: Where people are put in their place.

Definitions Work

Class Reunion: Where everyone gets together to see who is falling apart

Definitions

Virtue: Lack of opportunity.

Characteristics Definitions

Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

Death Definitions

Science: An orderly arrangement of what, at the moment, seems to be the facts.

Beliefs Definitions Facts Science/Weather

Delayed Payment: A tourniquet applied at the pockets.

Definitions Money

Stock Market: A popular game of chance in which moneyed speculators gamble with the nation’s economy, the object being to amass as much unearned income as possible before one’s fellow gamblers withdraw from the game and precipitate a nationwide depression.

Definitions Money

Quickie: No sooner spread than done.

Definitions Sex

American Language: English run over by a musical comedy.

Communication Definitions

Compromise: A deal in which two people get what neither of them wanted.

Definitions

Diplomat: Someone who can lose all the points and still win the game.

Definitions

Slang: Language that takes off its coat, spits on its hands, and goes to work.

Communication Definitions Language