Subject: Definitions (Page 60)

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Clever Woman: One who knows how to give a man her own way.

Definitions

Gardener: Someone who thinks that what goes down must come up.

Definitions

Handicap: An allocation of strokes on one or more holes that permits two golfers of very different ability to do equally poorly on the same course.

Definitions Golf Sports

Experience: Something you don’t get until just after you needed it.

Definitions

Automobile: A payment plan on wheels.

Autos Definitions Things

Fad: A folly committed by enough of the right people to confer upon it the badge of status.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Litigant: A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

Definitions Law

Agent: Someone who believes an actor takes 85 percent of his money.

Acting Definitions Entertainment

Florists: Petal pushers.

Definitions

Golf: A long walk broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.

Definitions Golf Sports

Paradox: Two physicians.

Definitions Doctors Wordplay

Theatre director: a person engaged by the management to conceal the fact that the players cannot act.

(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic
Acting Definitions Entertainment Occupations

Conservative: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions

Siamese Twins: First person plural.

Definitions People

Dentist: A person who runs a filling station.

Definitions Occupations

Experimental psychologist: A scientist who pulls habits out of rats.

(1904 – 1974) American author & radio producer
Definitions Occupations Wordplay Work

Insomnia: contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents.

Activities Definitions Sleep

Filing Cabinet: A place where you lose things alphabetically.

Definitions

Kiss: A course of procedure, cunningly devised, for the mutual stoppage of speech at a moment when words are superfluous.

Definitions

Vacation: A change of routine that makes you feel good enough to go back to work and poor enough to have to.

Definitions

Home: The place where you can scratch any place you itch.

Definitions Places