Subject: Definitions (Page 67)

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Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Emotions Happiness Women

Sanitation Worker: The title conferred on garbage men when they  started earning more than public school teachers.

Definitions Occupations

Orgasm: The punchline some women just don’t get, generally because their mates have a tendency to rush through the joke.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Sex

Diplomacy: The art of letting someone else have your own way.

Definitions

Sterile Solution: Vasectomy.

Definitions

Arthritis: Twinges in the hinges.

Definitions Health

Advice: the smallest current coin.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Opinion

Coward: One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Husband: A man who lost his liberty in the pursuit of happiness.

Definitions Marriage

Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.

(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator
Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

Charm: That indefinable something possessed by girls with stunning figures.

Appearance Definitions

Congress: A body of men who meet to repeal laws.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Government Language Law

Motherhood: If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor.

Definitions

Barber: A brilliant conversationalist who cuts hair for a sideline.

Conversation Definitions Occupations

Diagnosis: A physician’s forecast of the disease by the patient’s pulse and purse.

Definitions Health

Bigamist: A man who makes the same mistake twice.

Definitions Marriage

Etiquette: A convenient code of conduct which makes lying a virtue and snobbishness a righteous deed.

Definitions

London: A place you go to get bronchitis.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Definitions Health Places

Dictator: A self-madman.

Definitions

Skeptic: One who won’t take know for an answer.

Definitions People

Y Chromosome: The cause of virility, war, baldness, hockey, sex crimes, clever inventions and a disinclination to ask for directions when lost.

Definitions Men People