Subject: Definitions (Page 68)

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House: Domicile purchased by married couples so they have some place to pour all their money.

Definitions

Egotist: A conceited ass who thinks he knows as much as you do.

Definitions Intelligence People Self

Boat: A hole in the water surrounded by wood into which one pours money.

Definitions Things

Banquet: A fifty-cent dinner served in sufficient quantity to enable a caterer to charge twenty dollars for it.

Definitions Food/Drink

Urinal: The one place where all men are peers.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Men

Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language

Executive Suite: A sugar daddy.

Definitions

Bride: A gal who puts her foot down as soon as her new husband has carried her over the threshold.

Definitions Marriage Wives

Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Individuals Language

Negotiating: The art of persuading your opponent to take the nice shiny copper penny and give you the wrinkled old paper money.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Money

America: A nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but can think of nothing to do when it gets there.

America Definitions Places

Falsies: A hope chest.

Body Clothing Definitions

Yogurt: Semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two being goulash and squid.

Definitions Food/Drink

Advertising: The rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.

Eric Arthur Blair (1903 – 50) English author & journalist
Definitions

Misnomer: The right name for the wrong word.

Communication Definitions Language

Childish Games: Those at which your wife beats you.

Activities Definitions Games

Judge: A lawyer who once knew a politician.

Definitions Government Law

Doubles: Tennis game played by athletic couples who wish to burn a few calories while arguing.

Definitions Sports

Teenagers: People who get hungry again before the dishes are even washed.

Age Definitions

Filing Cabinet: A place where you lose things alphabetically.

Definitions

Monogamy: A marriage system in which subscribers are requested to return one wife before taking another.

Definitions Marriage