Subject: Entertainment » Music (Page 4)

What is a harp but an over-sized cheese-slicer with cultural pretensions?

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter
Entertainment Music

It’s no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently or if your favorite films wouldn’t even speak to each other if they met at a party.

(1957 – ) English novelist, essayist & screenwriter
Entertainment Music Relationships

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

(1901 – 1963) American comic actor, writer & director
Entertainment Music

I can't get a relationship to last longer than it takes to make copies of their tapes.

stand-up comedian, actor, writer & producer
Dating Entertainment Music Relationships

There are two golden rules for an orchestra: start together and finish together; the public doesn’t give a damn what goes on inbetween.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor
Entertainment Music

The secret of my piano playing is that I always make sure that the lid over the keyboard is open before I start to play.

(1882 – 1951) Austrian composer & pianist
Entertainment Music

I only know two tunes: one of them is “Yankee Doodle” and the other isn’t.

(1822 – 1885) 18th U.S. president & army general
Entertainment Music

When an opera star sings her head off, she usually improves her appearance.

(1909 – 2000) Danish-born comedian & pianist
Appearance Entertainment Music

Let me tell you about Jack's singing voice… it made his violin playing sound good.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Entertainment Music

There is no doubt that the first requirement for a composer is to be dead.

(1892 – 1955) Swiss composer
Death Entertainment Music

We are not used to playing the kind of venues that don't have a drain in the middle of the floor.

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician
Entertainment Music Places

Berlioz, musically speaking, is a lunatic; a classical composer only in Paris, the great city of quacks.

Entertainment Insults Music Places

Imagine if you were a drummer, and you accidentally picked up two magic wands instead of sticks; there you are, keeping the beat, the next thing you know, your bass player turns into a can of soup.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Entertainment Music

Piano: A parlor utensil for subduing the impertinent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Entertainment Music Things

They want to play the blues so badly… and that's how they play it – badly!

American bluesman
Entertainment Insults Music

Xylophone: Small toy musical instrument often given as gifts to children who show their appreciation by playing the stupid thing constantly, over and over, all day long; see also "drums."

Definitions Entertainment Music

People are wrong when they say opera is not what it used to be… it is what it used to be; that is what's wrong with it.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Entertainment Music Reviews/Criticism

You leave white people alone in constant isolation for thousands of years, you know what their musical contribution is going to be?… Riverdance.

(1959 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & television host
Entertainment Music People

Accordion: An instrument whose music is long drawn out.

Definitions Entertainment Music Things

Assassins!

(1867 – 1957) Italian conductor
Music Reviews/Criticism

It's a bunch of guys all playing different songs at the same time.

(1968 – ) American actor & comedian
Entertainment Music