Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Subject:
Entertainment
(Page 26)
The museum boasted owning the original version of Beethoven's unfinished basement.
Steve Connelly
comedian
Entertainment
Music
Places
Basement
Beethoven
My husband went to Radio Shack and got some
dog ears
for the TV.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Television
Rabbit ears
Radio is the theater of the mind; television is the theater of the mindless.
Steve Allen
(1921 – 2000) comedian, television host, musician, actor & writer
Entertainment
Intelligence
Television
Radio
Theater
Look, it’s my misery that I have to paint this kind of painting, it’s your misery that you have to love it, and the price of the misery is thirteen hundred and fifty dollars.
Mark Rothko
(1903 – 1970) Russian artist
Art
Entertainment
Hey, Alex – You know the really great thing about television? If something important happens, anywhere in the world, night or day… you can always change the channel.
Christopher Lloyd
(1938 – ) American actor
Entertainment
Television
TV/Movie Quotes
As Jim Ignatowski in “Taxi”
I played in a death-metal band. People either loved us or hated us… or they thought we were OK.
Mitch Hedberg
(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Entertainment
I have a perfect cure for a sore throat: cut it.
Alfred Hitchcock
(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer
Entertainment
Film
Health
Sore throats
Violence
I like Wagner’s music better than anybody’s; it is so loud that one can talk the whole time without people hearing what one says.
Oscar Wilde
(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Entertainment
Music
Reviews/Criticism
Richard Wagner
English Channel: The BBC.
Anonymous
Definitions
Entertainment
Television
English Channel
If Michaelangelo had been a heterosexual, the Sistine Chapel would have been painted basic white and with a roller.
Rita Mae Brown
1944) is an American writer & screenwriter
Characteristics
Entertainment
Heterosexuals
Homosexuals
Michaelangelo
Beethoven always sounds to me like the upsetting of a bag of nails, with here and there also a dropped hammer.
John Ruskin
(1819 – 1900) English art critic, social thinker, poet & artist
Entertainment
Music
Reviews/Criticism
Beethoven
If you can imagine a man having a vasectomy without anesthetic to the sound of frantic sitar playing, you will have some idea of what popular Turkish music is like.
Bill Bryson
American author
Entertainment
Music
Places
Turkey
I was doing some musical research, and I found out it was actually white people that came up with rap music… only, they call it square dancing.
Bruce Baum
(1951 – ) American comedian & writer
Entertainment
Music
Rap music
Square dancing
Parsifal
is the kind of opera that starts at six o'clock; after it has been going three hours, you look at your watch and it says 6:20.
David Randolph
American choral conductor, director, teacher & radio host
Entertainment
Reviews/Criticism
Time
Written by Richard Wagner
The secret of my piano playing is that I always make sure that the lid over the keyboard is open before I start to play.
Arthur Schnabel
(1882 – 1951) Austrian composer & pianist
Entertainment
Music
Piano
If you really want to help the American theater darling, be an audience.
Tallulah Bankhead
(1903 – 1968) movie actress
Acting
Insults
Reviews/Criticism
To a young actress
Why do you always insist on playing while I’m trying to conduct?
Eugene Ormandy
(1899 – 1985) Hungarian-born conductor & violinist
Entertainment
Misspokements
Music
Conducting
Sex is like art; most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is out of your price range.
Scott Roeben
writer, website creator
Art
Money
Sex
Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.
H.L. Mencken
(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Baseball
Language
Music
Italian
Opera
Fiddle: An instrument to tickle human ears by friction of a horse's tail on the entrails of a cat.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Animals
Definitions
Music
Fiddle
The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.
George Jean Nathan
(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Emotions
Entertainment
Laughter
Comedians
Page 26 of 37
« First
« Previous
24
25
26
27
28
Next »
Last »