Subject: Government » Law (Page 5)

What I need is a lawyer who specializes in the law of the jungle.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Government Law Lawyers

These people have served a longer sentence than some people who have committed murder.

(1943 – ) American television journalist & author
Government Law Situations

Judge: Miss West, are you trying to show contempt for this court?

Mae West: On the contrary, Your Honor, I was doin' my best to conceal it.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Government Law

Laws are like sausages… it’s better not to see them being made.

(1815 – 1898) Prussian statesman
Government Law

I went to medical school here at Columbia; I got my M.D.; and was practicing out in Colorado, where I decided to quit and do stand-up – and not just because of the lawsuits.

(1971 – ) American comedian, actor, television host & former physician
Doctors Education Health Law School

Asking the ignorant to use the incomprehensible to decide the unknowable.

(1932 – ) American judge & author
Government Law

All lawyers are cut from the same cloth: fleece.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Crime Government Law Lawyers

In this country you’re guilty until proven wealthy.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
America Government Law Money Wealth

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings… and lawyers.

(1940 – 2005) comedian & movie actor
Emotions Government Law Lawyers Marriage

Even the police have an unlisted number.

(1908 – 1996) actor & comedian
Government Hollywood Law Things

Infinity is one lawyer waiting for another.

Government Law Lawyers Murphy’s Laws Time

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

(1927 – ) American comedian
Government Law

I don’t want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is.

(1927 – 1986) American attorney
Government Law

Convicted criminal: As God is my judge – I am innocent.

Birkett: He isn’t; I am, and you’re not!

(1883 – 1962) British barrister, judge, politician & preacher
Government Law

This contract is so one-sided that I am surprised to find it written on both sides of the paper.

(1899 – 1966) British judge
Government Law

If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire; they're trained for that!

(1964 – ) English comedian
Animals Dogs Government Law

Liquor – you can make it illegal but you can't make it unpopular.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink Law

Justice is open to everyone in the same way as the Ritz Hotel.

(1740 – 1819) American lawyer, jurist & politician
Government Law

He’s not technically a lawyer, but he’s got three court cases next week.

Lisa Lampanelli (1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Law People

The length of time it takes a bill to pass through the legislature is in inverse proportion to the number of lobbying groups favoring it.

Government Law Murphy’s Laws Time

However harmless a thing is, if the law forbids it most people will think it wrong.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
Government Law