Subject: Government » Law (Page 3)

The length of time it takes a bill to pass through the legislature is in inverse proportion to the number of lobbying groups favoring it.

Government Law Murphy’s Laws Time

Obscenity is whatever gives the judge an erection.

Law Sex

The more corrupt the republic, the more numerous the laws.


Government Law

An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Government Law

Anybody who thinks talk is cheap should get some legal advice.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Government Law Lawyers Money Opinion

As one gets older, litigation replaces sex.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Law Sex

Infinity is one lawyer waiting for another.

Government Law Lawyers Murphy’s Laws Time

Your honor, may I encroach the bench?

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Law Malaprops

The first thing we do, let’s kill the lawyers.

(1564 – 1616) English dramatist & poet
Government Killing Law Lawyers

I had the right to remain silent, but I had lost the ability to.

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink Law

Judge: Miss West, are you trying to show contempt for this court?

Mae West: On the contrary, Your Honor, I was doin' my best to conceal it.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Government Law

If you laid all our laws end to end, there would be no end.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Government Law

Legal: Used to mean lawful; now it means some kind of loophole.

Definitions Government Law

Convicted criminal: As God is my judge – I am innocent.

Birkett: He isn’t; I am, and you’re not!

(1883 – 1962) British barrister, judge, politician & preacher
Government Law

Only lawyers and mental defectives are automatically exempt for jury duty.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Government Law Lawyers

My retirement plan is a slippery floor at a department store.

American comedian
Law Money

I don’t want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is.

(1927 – 1986) American attorney
Government Law

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Animals Government Law Lawyers People

Nothing is illegal if one hundred well-placed business men decide to do it.

(1932 – ) American politician, diplomat, activist & pastor
Government Law

If you have the facts on your side, hammer the facts. If you have the law on your side, hammer the law. If you have neither the facts nor the law, hammer the table.

Facts Government Law Murphy’s Laws

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Age Law Old Sex