Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Health
(Page 25)
I have kleptomania; but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
Kenneth Dodd
(1927 – 2018) British comedian, singer & songwriter
Health
Kleptomania
I realized I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.
Anonymous
Communication
Health
Language
Reading/Writing
Dyslexia
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d druther not.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Health
Hypochondriac: Someone who enjoys bad health.
Anonymous
Definitions
Health
Hypochondriacs
CPR: An emergency exercise that helps concerned onlookers feel useful while the victim expires.
Anonymous
Definitions
Health
CPR
A man walked into the doctor’s; he said, ‘I’ve hurt my arm in several places.' … The doctor said, ‘well don’t go there any more.'
Tommy Cooper
(1921 – 1984) British comedian & magician
Doctors
Health
Cold: An ailment cured in two weeks with a doctor’s care, and in fourteen days without it.
Anonymous
Definitions
Doctors
Health
Cold
I'd hate to be a giraffe with a sore throat.
Mitch Hedberg
(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals
Health
Giraffes
Orthodox: Bone doctors.
Anonymous
Definitions
Doctors
Orthodox
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