Subject: Hollywood Squares (Page 7)

Peter Marshall: Under the right circumstances, could a 100-year-old man father a child?

Paul Lynde: With a nurse and maybe a mortician standing by.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to French wine experts, was 1969 a good, or a bad year for wine?

George Gobel: Now this has got to be a trick question because there's never been a bad year for wine.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Is there anything an elephant loves more than a big bag of peanuts?

Paul Lynde: The love scenes in Dumbo.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to beauty experts at Seventeen magazine, what is the major cause of crows feet?

George Gobel: God made them so crows could dance.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to FEMA, people from Florida should be prepared for hurricanes and people from the Midwest should be prepared for floods. What should people from California be prepared for?

Charley Weaver: The people from Florida and the people from the Midwest.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: If you find someone lying unconscious in the street, should you do anything?

George Goebel: I’d probably crawl around him I guess.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… a Florida man was recently fined 75 cents to pay for the bullet police fired at him? 

George Gobel: Yeah, and they didn’t have change for a dollar, so they shot him two more times.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false – when the swallows return to Capistrano, they are probably coming from Argentina.

Charley Weaver: That’s true, and not only did they ruin my car, they blew up my trailer!

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Now listen carefully, Paul… during the time of the hula hoop, the yo-yo, and Davy Crockett hats, who was in the White House?

Paul Lynde: I’ll say the yo-yo!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

John Davidson: A Russian man has just shown you his “balalaika.” What has he shown you?

Jim J. Bullock: Why he’s not so popular with the party girls.

(1955 – ) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Why is the booby bird called the booby bird?

Karen Valentine: Because they have big… feet.

(1947 – ) American actress
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, can you get an elephant drunk?

Paul Lynde: Yes, but he still won’t go up to your your apartment.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Is it possible for a man to get an annulment if he can prove that he was drunk during the wedding ceremony? 

George Gobel: Well, I thought of that, but by the time I sobered up, we had been married 23 years.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the nursery rhyme “Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater had a wife and couldn’t keep her”. Where did he finally put her?

Steve Rossi: I think in a sanitarium.

(1928 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to experts, can you have a one-second dream?

Harvey Korman: Well sure, but I always ask for some of my money back.

(1927 – 2008) American comedic actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: The average child in China learns how to do it at age three. The average child in America never learns. What?

Paul Lynde: How to pull a rickshaw.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: You became a mother two months ago. And you’ve been feeling a bit depressed lately. According to Cosmopolitan magazine, is this normal?

Paul Lynde: I hate these stretch marks!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, in the early days of Hollywood, who was usually found atop Tony, the Wonder Horse?

Paul Lynde: My Friend Flicka.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?

Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, why are forest rangers in remote locations ordering goats as standard equipment?

Paul Lynde: Because the sheep are wising up?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: From what animal do you get silk blouses?

Paul Lynde: An animal to you, Peter, but kind and generous to me.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares