Subject: Insults (Page 24)

They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.

(1839 – 1902) Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives
Insults Intelligence

Having your taste criticized by Dorothy Kilgallen is like having your clothes criticized by Emmett Kelly.

(1936 – ) television talk show host
Insults

The 100% American is 99% idiot.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
America Insults People

Compared to the Clintons, Reagan is living proof that a Republican with half a brain is better than a Democrat with two.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Insults Politicians

He's thin as piss on a hot rock.

(1908 – 1985) U.S. senator (Indiana)
Insults

Longfellow is to poetry what the barrel-organ is to music.

(1886 – 1963) literary critic, biographer & historian
Insults Music Reading/Writing

Larry the Cable Guy has everything: sleeveless shirts, stupid catchphrases; he’s Mr. T without the acting chops.

Lisa Lampanelli (1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Insults

He's so snobbish he has an unlisted zip-code.

(1907 – 1987) journalist & columnist
Insults

She has more talent to the square head than anybody I know.

(1908–1960) British film actress
Acting Entertainment Insults

Hubert Humphrey talks so fast that listening to him is like trying to read Playboy magazine with your wife turning the pages.

(1909 – 1998) U.S. senator (Arizona)
Communication Insults Speech

His impact on history would be no more than the whiff of scent on a lady's handkerchief.

(1863 – 1945) British politician & statesman
History Insults

An idiot child screaming in a hospital.

(1866 – 1946) English author
Insults

Attila the Hen.

(1924 – 2009) English broadcaster, writer, politician & chef
Insults

Nixon's motto was: If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

(1915 – 1990) American political journalist, author, professor & peace advocate
Insults

He's a trellis for varicose veins.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Appearance Body Insults

In feathered hats that were once the rage, she resembles a petrified parakeet from the Jurassic age; a royal wreck.

Richard Blackwell (1922 – 2008) fashion critic, journalist, & designer
Appearance Insults

Come again when you can't stay so long.

(1860 – 1942) German-English painter
Insults

To know him was to like him; not to know him was to love him.

(1884 – 1947) Jewish American lyricist
Insults People

Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Hollywood Insults Places

He has so much brain and so little beauty.

(1884 – 1980) author & wit
Insults

If there’s one thing for which I admire you, it’s your original discovery of the Ten Commandments.

(1839 – 1902) Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives
Insults