Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Malaprops
(Page 2)
Their relationship was purely
plutonic.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Relationships
Platonic
The whole world is turning into a regular Sodom and
Glocca Morra.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops
Places
Gomorrah
Sin
Revenge is a dish best served
with cold cuts.
Malaprop
Malaprops
Best served cold
Tony Soprano
I’ve got a tooth that’s driving me to extraction.
Charlie McCarthy
ventriloquist dummy of Edgar Bergen (1903 – 1978)
Malaprops
TV/Movie Quotes
You can't squeeze
blood out of a tulip.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops
Turnip
It's got lots of installation.
Anonymous
Appearance
Clothing
Malaprops
Describing a new coat
Insulation
You know what’s got the world in the shape today? Buddah, the Pope, Marx and
Lemons.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops
Lenin
… behold, this very day, I have
interceded
another letter from the fellow.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Intercepted
Please excuse Betty from school Tuesday, she had a cold and could not
breed
well.
Anonymous
Health
Malaprops
Breathe
Friccastewing
a chicken on the hotplate.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Cooking
Food/Drink
Malaprops
Fricassee
What'd ya think, you were gonna pull the
wolf
over my eyes?
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops
Wool
Not all that shivers is cold.
Leo Rosten
(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Malaprops
Glitters is gold
He’s still
scravengin’
down here.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops
Scavenging
My husband was chosen as a
wheelbarrow
for his friend's funeral.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Pallbearer
You’re sicker than me? Edith, get me the other
fomometer.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops
TV/Movie Quotes
Thermometer
Keep your
eye
to the grindstone.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Nose
One of those
digitalis
clocks.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops
TV/Movie Quotes
Digital
I’m
sympathizing
my watch with yours.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops
TV/Movie Quotes
Synchronizing
Jesus Alou is in the on-deck
circus.
Jerry Coleman
(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball
Malaprops
Sports
Circle
… prostate with grief
Anonymous
Malaprops
Prostrate
Tony Soprano
I’ll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I’ll even bring home a whole
maggot.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops
TV/Movie Quotes
Magnum
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