Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 21)

She is so ugly I would hire her to haunt a house.

Miscellaneous

Jack: We are lovers.

Liz: That word bums me out unless it’s between the words “meat” and “pizza”.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
Miscellaneous

Madder than’ a wampus cat

Miscellaneous

She's uglier than homemade soap.

Miscellaneous

Fall in for vittles.

Miscellaneous

I was as surprised as if a sheep had bit me.

Miscellaneous

I feel fatter than a possum stuck in a fence hole.

Miscellaneous

It would be better to dress him than to feed him.

Miscellaneous

I’ll wear you out till your hide won’t hold shucks.

Miscellaneous

Gridlock Christmas

Miscellaneous

If Jesus had known that his image would end up on Justin Bieber’s calf, he would’ve never started Christianity.

(1974 – ) American comedian
Miscellaneous

Who's pluckin' this chicken, me or you?

Miscellaneous

I'll hit you so hard your children will be born dizzy.

Miscellaneous

She’s totin’ the high leg.

Miscellaneous

It daddied itself

Miscellaneous

Fix your plate.

Miscellaneous

If that boy had a good idea it would die of loneliness.

Miscellaneous

I’m so mad I could eat barbed wire and spit nails.

Miscellaneous

So this cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says "Audi!"

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Miscellaneous Wordplay

I guess the hard thing for a lot of people to accept is why God would allow me to go running through their yards, yelling and spinning around.

Miscellaneous

Too poor to paint, too proud to whitewash.

Miscellaneous