Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 23)

If I was a cowboy in a lynch mob, I think I’d try to stay near the back; that way, if somebody shamed us into disbanding, I could sort of slip off to the side and pretend I was window-shopping or something.

Miscellaneous

No, it’s liquid sunshine.

Miscellaneous

Hotter than the hinges of Hell.

Miscellaneous

I'm so broke I can't afford to pay attention.

Miscellaneous

Whenever someone asks me to define love, I usually think for a minute, then I spin around and pin the guy’s arm behind his back… NOW who’s asking the questions?

Miscellaneous

Where you stay?

Miscellaneous

My mom used to stick her head in the oven. Actually she only did it the once, but it was pretty weird.

(1963 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
Miscellaneous

He’d make a cat laugh.

Miscellaneous

A living testament to how low a studio will stoop to generate a few bucks.

writer, editor & film reviewer
Miscellaneous

Turn the truth

Miscellaneous

Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your backside?

(1973 – ) English comedian, writer, actor, director & producer
Miscellaneous

Took off like Moody's goose

Miscellaneous

If you were an ancient barbarian, I bet a real embarrassing thing would be if you were sacking Rome and your cape got caught on something and you couldn’t get it unhooked, and you had to ask another barbarian to unhook it for you.

Miscellaneous

I’m fixin' to run over to the bank.

Miscellaneous

I have to laugh when I think of the first cigar, because it was probably just a bunch of rolled-up tobacco leaves.

Miscellaneous

Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won’t help.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Clothing Life Miscellaneous

It’s hotter than a goat’s ass in a pepper patch.

Miscellaneous

I'm so hungry I could eat my elbows.

Miscellaneous

Sorry as a two dollar watch.

Miscellaneous

Time to paint your butt white and run with the antelope.

Miscellaneous

If my dog was ugly as you, I’d shave his butt and make him walk backwards.

Miscellaneous