Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 38)

… took a long dip in the ugly pond

Miscellaneous

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it’s just sort of a tired feeling.

(1959 – ) American comedian
Miscellaneous

Built like a brick shithouse

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Like a goose a-goin’ barefooted

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He’d have to get smarter… just to be stupid.

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If you were an ancient barbarian, I bet a real embarrassing thing would be if you were sacking Rome and your cape got caught on something and you couldn’t get it unhooked, and you had to ask another barbarian to unhook it for you.

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This is gooder'n grits.

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If you’re an archaeologist, I bet it’s real embarrassing to put together a skull from a bunch of ancient bone fragments, but then it turns out it’s not a skull but just an old dried-out potato.

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Pot licker

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No, it’s liquid sunshine.

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I think they should continue the policy of not giving a Nobel Prize for paneling.

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I’ll Marry You Tomorrow (But Let’s Honeymoon Tonite)

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Stronger’n a garlic milkshake

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Does a snake have hips?

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If his brains were dynamite, he couldn’t blow his nose.

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Being hugged by Diana Rigg is worth three sessions of chemotherapy.

(1921 – 2000) English Archbishop of Canterbury
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Slow as an iron toad

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If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of Conquistadors came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don’t think it would be a good idea to say, “I swallowed it… so sue me.”

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Show your linen

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You weigh up the pros and cons and try to put them into chronological order.

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Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone’s neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing?

Miscellaneous