Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 42)

Boy howdy!

Miscellaneous

I’d like to see a movie where a guy is going to die when the sand runs out of an hourglass, but then at the last minute an ant stops the sand from running out. Then the rest of the movie is about the ant.

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No one is ever warmed by wool pulled over his eyes.

writer
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You’re as gay as a clutch purse on Tony night.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer
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I went to a cigar store, the man behind the counter asked me, "What kind of cigars do you like?" and I answered, "It's a Boys."

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
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Took a heart burnin'

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There are no requests for jugglers – only ‘Don’t juggle!’

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Chester drawers

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She Even Woke Me Up to Say Goodbye

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I bet what happened was they discovered fire and invented the wheel on the same day. Then that night, they burned the wheel.

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Who died and left the gate open?

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I wouldn’t mind if animals ate my body, after I’m dead. And before I’m dead, they could lick me.

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Murray: Being fired is like being violated!

Sue Ann: Leave it to Murray to find a bright spot in all this.

1922) American actress, comedian & television personality
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Stronger’n a garlic milkshake

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You don’t get anything clean without getting something else dirty.

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Taxidermal Therapy

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It'd be quicker to train kudzu.

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The Alcohall Of Fame

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A trace of the uppity

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Too bad you can’t buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak everybody out.

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… as clumsy as a blind dog in a meat house.

Miscellaneous