Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 56)

His porch light’s on, but he ain’t home!

Miscellaneous

That’s smoother than a spanked baby’s butt

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I'm so hungry I could eat my elbows.

Miscellaneous

Whenever you read a good book, it’s like the author is right there, in the room talking to you, which is why I don’t like to read good books.

Miscellaneous

A rooster one day, a feather duster the next.

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It's so hot that it makes me want to take off my skin and sit in my bones.

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Happy as a clam at high tide

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She will have to walk behind the angels – and she won’t like that.

(1841 – 1910) King of the United Kingdom
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She’s totin’ the high leg.

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Farmin’ in the woods

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You'd have to be William Tell to hit a straw bale round here.

British motorcycle road racer
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Like three feet up a bull’s ass

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He wouldn’t holler sooey if the hogs was eatin’ em.

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I feel like a dog's breakfast.

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I do not see why I should break my neck because a dog chooses to run after a nasty smell.

(1848 – 1930) British Conservative politician & statesman
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I'm feeling as low as a toad in a dry well.

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I’m gonna have a ‘Come to Jesus’ meeting with him.

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Leanin' on the shovel

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We better git on the stick!

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If you’re a boxing referee, it’s probably illegal to wear a bow tie that spins or changes colors.

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Steppin’ out

Miscellaneous