Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 59)

You couldn't hit sand if you fell off a camel.

Miscellaneous

I think college administrators should encourage students to urinate on walls and bushes, because then when students from another college come sniffing around, they’ll know this is someone else’s territory.

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Quicker than a cat can lick’s its ass

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I don’t pay him no nevermind.

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That takes the cake

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They from off.

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She can burn water.

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He’s got molasses in his britches.

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The Piano Has Been Drinking

(1949 – ) American singer-songwriter, composer & actor
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Poor as gully dirt

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He didn't get there on a paved road.

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Before a mad scientist goes mad, there’s probably a time when he’s only partially mad… and this is the time when he’s going to throw his best parties.

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Even a blind hog finds an acorn now and then.

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Bumpin’ yer gums!

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He can get glad the same way he got mad, or else he's gon' die unhappy.

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That poor boy’s so slow, it would take him two hours to watch 60 minutes.

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It’s funny that pirates were always going around searching for treasure, and they never realized that the real treasure was the fond memories they were creating.

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Pot licker

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I went to the barber and got my ears lowered.

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If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that’s another weakness.

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Her butt is as wide as a corn picker.

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