Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 59)

I’m as busy as a one-armed barber with hives.

Miscellaneous

If I had two wheels, I would be a bicycle.

Miscellaneous

That is to much pumpkin for a nickel.

Miscellaneous

If you can't beat ‘em join ‘em, and if you can’t join ‘em beat ‘em.

Miscellaneous

Happy as a pig in Palestine.

Miscellaneous

If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep the students from just trying to yodel right off; you see, we build to that.

Miscellaneous

You’re trying to push a rope.

Miscellaneous

I don’t know which is worse… that everyone has his price, or that the price is always so low.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Miscellaneous

Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone’s neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing?

Miscellaneous

Her apron’s ridin’ high.

Miscellaneous

It’s been saucered and blowed.

Miscellaneous

Don’t ever get your speedometer confused with your clock, like I did once, because the faster you go, the later you think you are.

Miscellaneous

That’s how the cow ate the cabbage.

Miscellaneous

I am ashamed of confessing that I have nothing to confess.


Miscellaneous

Don’t judge someone until they have tossed your salad.

(1954 – ) American actor & singer
Miscellaneous

Don't gobble in the woods during hunting season.

Miscellaneous

If God dwells inside us like some people say, I sure hope he likes enchiladas, because that’s what he’s getting.

Miscellaneous

Stiff in the heels

Miscellaneous

Old as dirt

Miscellaneous

I’m as anxious as a one-eyed cat watching two rat holes.

Miscellaneous

Spread the table.

Miscellaneous