Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 69)

Deaf as a doorknob & blind as a bat.

Miscellaneous

Snake the kivvers

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Why are they called apartments when they’re all stuck together?

(1946 – ) American comedian
Miscellaneous Wordplay

Probably one of the main problems with owning a robot is when you want him to go out in the snow to get the paper, he doesn’t want to go because it’s so cold, so you have to get out your whip and start whipping him, and the kids start crying, and oh why did I ever get this stupid robot?

Miscellaneous

It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

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It's gonna be a gully washer.

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It’s so good, it makes you want to slap your momma!

Miscellaneous

What are they planting to grow the seedless watermelon?

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Miscellaneous

You couldn’t catch a catfish in a coffee cup.

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Two ax handles acrost

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I don’t know her from Adam’s house cat.

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The fool’s so lost he don’t know if he’s afoot or on horseback.

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After I die, wherever my spirit goes, I’m going to try to get back and visit my skeleton at least once a year, because, “Hey, old buddy, how’s it going?”

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He wouldn't go to a funeral unless he could be the corpse.

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He is purple – the gay-pride color, and his antenna is shaped like a triangle – the gay pride symbol.

(1933 – 2007) Am. evangelical pastor, televangelist, & political commentator
Miscellaneous

If there's one rat you can see, there's gonna be 50 you can't.

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It's cold enough to hang meat in here.

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We in the short rows.

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He’s shorter than a mouse hole.

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Dumber than a sack full of hammers.

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… as clumsy as a blind dog in a meat house.

Miscellaneous