Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 7)

Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Modest Bestiary

(1956 – ) American humorist, comedian & author
Miscellaneous

It’s like swimming through peanut butter.

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The Origin of Feces: What Excrement Tells Us about Evolution, Ecology, and a Sustainable Society

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If my dog was ugly as you, I’d shave his butt and make him walk backwards.

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Gridlock Christmas

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That ain't worth the powder to blow it to hell.

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I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I’d like to have one of those little beds with my name on it.

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If that boy had a good idea it would die of loneliness.

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Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won’t help.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Clothing Life Miscellaneous

One thing a computer can do that most humans can’t is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse.

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Oh shine!

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The only hope of deciphering her invitations, someone said, was to pin them up on the wall and run past them!

(1907 – 1999) English publisher & editor
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If the captain invited me to his party, after he had whipped me earlier in the day up on deck, I guess I’d go, but I’d try to find some excuse to leave early.

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Just because a chicken has wings doesn't mean it can fly.

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He's tougher than a two dollar steak.

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I’m a psychic amnesiac… I know in advance what I’ll forget.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
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His family tree is a trunk.

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Jesus Loves You But I Don’t

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Just because a chicken has wings doesn't mean it can fly.

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I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I’d just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway.

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Never forget that only dead fish swim with the stream.

(1930 – 1990) English journalist, author & media personality
Miscellaneous