Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 7)

This bloke said to me: ‘I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar;’ I said: ‘Is that a fret?’

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Miscellaneous Wordplay

Remember what Daddy always says – an ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure!

(1967 – ) American actress & producer
Miscellaneous

Let us have wine and women, mirth and laughter,

Sermons and soda-water the day after.

(1788 – 1824) English poet
Miscellaneous

It's your little red wagon, you can push it or pull it.

Miscellaneous

It is fun to be in the same decade with you.

(1882 – 1945) 32nd U.S. president
Miscellaneous

He's as happy as if he had good sense.

Miscellaneous

Go off half-cocked

Miscellaneous

It’s raining cats and dogs.

Miscellaneous

The hair is in the butter.

Miscellaneous

Rough as a cob

Miscellaneous

Instead of having “answers” on a math test, they should just call them “impressions,” and if you got a different “impression,” so what, can’t we all be brothers?

Miscellaneous

A whistling woman and a crowing hen never comes to a very good end.

Miscellaneous

California Mayor Curbs Self Over Dog Poop Incident

Miscellaneous

Shit fire and save matches

Miscellaneous

The ox is in the ditch.

Miscellaneous

He's busier than a cat with two tails.

Miscellaneous

I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because then, yahoo, I’d have all my money back.

Miscellaneous

As long as Pat stayed in the army

Miscellaneous

Peter Marshall: Rich, what land animal has the largest eyes?

Rich Little: [doing his impersonation of her] Why, that would be Carol Channing!

(1938 – ) Canadian-American impressionist & voice actor
Miscellaneous

I’ll show you where the bear sat in the buckwheat.

Miscellaneous

Mites don’t fly this time of the year.

Miscellaneous