Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 5)

If your kid makes one of those little homemade guitars out of a cigar box and rubber bands, don’t let him just play it once or twice and then throw it away. Make him practice on it, every day, for about three hours a day. Later, he’ll thank you.

Miscellaneous

That possum's on the stump.

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Knee high to a grasshopper

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I think there probably should be a rule that if you’re talking about how many loaves of bread a bullet will go through, it’s understood that you mean lengthwise loaves; otherwise, it makes no sense.

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Don't get your tit in a ringer!

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Tall hog at the trough

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He thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow.

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I'm like that guy who single-handedly built the rocket & flew to the moon. What was his name? Apollo Creed?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Miscellaneous Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because then, yahoo, I’d have all my money back.

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A daily festival of human suffering.

American professional road racing cyclist
Miscellaneous

If you’re an archaeologist, I bet it’s real embarrassing to put together a skull from a bunch of ancient bone fragments, but then it turns out it’s not a skull but just an old dried-out potato.

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There were so many people in that place, you couldn't stir 'em with a stick.

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If i was feelin any better i'd give five dollars for a good headache.

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Otterville,  Missouri

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Don’t ever get your speedometer confused with your clock, like I did once, because the faster you go, the later you think you are.

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Before a mad scientist goes mad, there’s probably a time when he’s only partially mad… and this is the time when he’s going to throw his best parties.

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Up shit creek without a paddle

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Remember what Daddy always says – an ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure!

(1967 – ) American actress & producer
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I think there is more wisdom in a single drop of rain than there is in all the books in all the libraries of the world… wait, not rain– super-concentrated brain juice.

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Don't sneeze behind a skittish horse.

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Dumber 'n a sack of wet mice

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