Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 73)

One of the bad things about panning for gold is maybe sometimes you’ll get a crawdaddy in your pan, and you start to wonder if you should give up on the gold and just go for crawdaddies; I can’t make that decision for you.

You’ve got the saw by the wrong tree.

Marryin’ an’ buryin’ hat

You can’t blame a worm for not wanting to go fishing.

His head is full of stump water.

I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I’d just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway.

Ready with his hat and slow with his money

Messed up as a soup sandwich

Like a bug arguing with a chicken

Like a turkey in young corn

A close chewer and a tight spitter.

Give a 50 cent answer for a nickel question.

Well I’ll be John Brown.

Sober as a judge

A face like a welder’s bench

If a bird had his brains, he fly backwards.

Don’t start choppin’ till you’ve treed the coon.

I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it.

He’s in a foggery.

I could eat the horse and chase the jockey.

Liberty: Consists in giving everyone full right to mind everyone else’s business.