Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Misspokements
(Page 6)
I had a great idea this morning, but I didn’t like it.
Samuel Goldwyn
(1879 – 1974) film producer
Misspokements
That was a needle through the haystack job.
Clive Allen
English football player
Misspokements
If Lincoln were alive today, he’d roll over in his grave.
Gerald Ford
(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
Communication
Misspokements
Speech
Lincoln
It will have a special time on our plate.
Anonymous
Misspokements
I’ve never seen a guy on the DL [Disabled List] with pulled fat.
Rod Beck
professional baseball player
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
Tambay’s hopes, which were nil before, are absolutely zero now.
Murray Walker
(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing
Misspokements
Sports
We know where they are; they’re in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south and north somewhat.
Donald Rumsfeld
(1932 – ) American businessman & U.S. Secretary of Defense
Misspokements
On Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction
I think that was a moment of cool panic there.
Ron Atkinson
English former football player & manager
Misspokements
My friends, no matter how rough the road may be, we can and we will, never, never surrender to what is right.
Dan Quayle
(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Characteristics
Misspokements
Fairness
Good
Surrender
He’s going for the green – and for those watching in black and white it’s behind the brown.
Ted Lowe
BBC commentator
Misspokements
Sports
Describing a snooker game
Yes, but that’s our strongest weak point.
Samuel Goldwyn
(1879 – 1974) film producer
Misspokements
I would have given my right arm to be a pianist.
Bobby Robson
British football commentator
Misspokements
The faster he goes, the quicker he’ll get to the pits; the slower he goes, the longer it will take.
Murray Walker
(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing
Misspokements
Sports
Time
It is
kisstomary to cuss
the bride.
William Archibald Spooner
(1844 – 1930) English dean at Oxford whose name is given to the accidental transposition of sounds of two or more words
Misspokements
Customary to kiss
Spoonerism
And Britain defeats the rest of the world to pick up the bronze medal.
Unknown
Misspokements
Sports
Such
Bulgarians should be vanished.
William Archibald Spooner
(1844 – 1930) English dean at Oxford whose name is given to the accidental transposition of sounds of two or more words
Misspokements
Spoonerism
Such vulgarians should be banished
There are four different cars filling the first four places.
Murray Walker
(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing
Misspokements
Sports
This type of injury is very painful. Especially when it hurts.
Jean Perron
Canadian hockey coach
Hockey
Misspokements
Sports
Injuries
Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.
Dan Quayle
(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication
Misspokements
Speech
Verbosity
You’ve got to take the bitter with the sour.
Samuel Goldwyn
(1879 – 1974) film producer
Characteristics
Misspokements
Speech
Bad
Good
So, that island that you own… is it near the beach?
Christina Applegate
(1971 – ) American actress
Misspokements
TV/Movie Quotes
As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children”
Page 6 of 53
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