Subject: Money (Page 19)

What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn’t understand math.

(1978 – ) American comedian & writer
Emotions Love Money People Women

France is a place where the money falls apart in your hands but you cannot tear the toilet paper.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Money Places

Misers make wonderful ancestors.

Frugal Money

If I’m making millions to put a ball through a hoop, you can’t ever piss me off.

(1975 – ) American comedian, actor & writer
Money Occupations Sports Work

There's many a pessimist who got that way by financing an optimist.

Characteristics Money

The more heavily a man is supposed to be taxed, the more power he has to escape being taxed.

Government Money Murphy’s Laws Taxes

Money isn’t everything as long as you have enough.

Money Murphy’s Laws

If a man works like a horse for his money, there are a lot of girls anxious to take him down the bridal path.

(1922 – 2018) comedian & actor
Marriage Money Work

The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, “We want five thousand dollars or you’ll see your kid again.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Money Parents Situations

The major concrete achievement of the women's movement in the 1970s was the Dutch treat.

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director
Dating Money

Her business seems to be doing well; it must be very ludicrous.

Malaprops Money

Las Vegas is the oasis of outstretched palms.

English boxing journalist & commentator
Boxing Money Sports Wordplay

I want a man who’s kind and understanding; is that too much to ask of a millionaire?

(1917 – 2016) Hungarian-born American actress
Men Money People Relationships Wealth

I can make more generals, but horses cost money.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Animals Government Military Money

You know the economy is bad when illegals start complaining that Americans are taking their jobs.

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host
Government Money

You might be a redneck if… you own a Waffle House credit card.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Money People Rednecks

Money brings some happiness; but after a certain point, it just brings more money.

(1927 – 2018) playwright & screenwriter
Emotions Happiness Money

 I don't like talking about money; all I know is the good Lord must have wanted me to have it.

professional basketball player, coach & executive
Basketball Money Sports

I was so poor… in my neighborhood, the rainbow was in black and white!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Money Places Poverty

I finally know what distinguishes man from the other beasts: financial worries.

(1864 – 1910) French author
Animals Money People

It isn’t enough for you to love money… it’s also necessary that money should love you.

(1840 – 1915) British banker & politician
Money