Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
People
(Page 129)
The English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest about it.
James Agate
(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic
Characteristics
England
People
Places
Admiration
Modesty
Talent
[My husband] can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house… he can't stand the competition.
Phyllis Diller
(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance
People
Self
Garbage
The time of departure will be delayed by the square of the number of people involved.
Plotnick's Law
Murphy’s Laws
People
Time
The Austrians are brilliant people. They made the world believe that [Adolf Hitler] was a German and [Ludwig van Beethoven] an Austrian.
Billy Wilder
(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
People
Austrians
There are four kinds of people: those who sit quietly and do nothing, those who talk about sitting quietly and doing nothing, those who do things, and those who talk about doing things.
Runamok's Law
Communication
Murphy’s Laws
People
Speech
Women are cursed, and men are the proof.
Roseanne Barr
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Men
People
Women
The Irish… don’t care for clean government; they want
Irish
government.
Stephen Leacock
(1869 – 1944) Canadian economist & humorist
Government
People
Places
From “Arcadian Adventures with the Idle Rich”
Irish
Greater love hath no man than this, to lay down his friends for his life.
Jeremy Thorpe
(1929 – ) British politician
Friends
Insults
And most men seem to think ‘mutual orgasm’ is an insurance company.
Kathy Lette
(1958 – ) Australian author
Men
People
Sex
Insurance
Mutual orgasm
Sex education
Successful people are the ones who think up things for the rest of the world to keep busy at.
Don Marquis
(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
People
Success
World
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