Subject: People (Page 129)

It took us hundreds of years to get one Year of the Woman, then we get a year – one of us cuts her husband's penis off.

stand-up comedian, actor, writer & producer
People Situations Women

A libertarian is just a Republican who takes drugs.

(1951 – ) American anarchist writer
Drugs Government People Politics

Optimist: Day-dreamer more elegantly spelled.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics People

A woman is a lot like a refrigerator: 6 feet tall, 300 pounds… it makes ice.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes Women

I never saw my mother up close.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Family Mothers People Self

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
America Golf Government People Sports Taxes

Someone who looks like Marilyn Monroe and talks like George S. Kaufman.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
People Women

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic.

(1931 – ) television newscaster
America Autos People

If women don't find you handsome they should at least find you handy.

(1945 – ) Canadian comedian & actor
People TV/Movie Quotes Women

Sooner or later, I'll be punctual.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Self Time