Subject: People » Self (Page 10)

Hey, I don’t get respect from anyone… why, American Airlines thanked me for flying United.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Insults People Self

Self-abuse is the sincerest kind.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Activities Self Sex

I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked.

(1955 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Dating People Relationships Self Sex

I’m a controversial figure: my friends either dislike me or hate me.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Friends Old People Self

In my last year of school, I was voted Class Optimist and Class Pessimist. Looking back, I realize I was only half right.

(1937 – ) American actor
People Self

If my books had been any worse, I should not have been invited to Hollywood, and if they had been any better, I should not have come.

(1888 – 1959) detective novelist & screenwriter
Books Communication Self

I am… an inflated swimsuit.

(1966 – ) English dance-pop singer, actress & former model
Insults People Self

When I was born I owed twelve dollars.

(1889 – 1961) Am. playwright, theater director & producer & humorist
Money Poverty Self

It does not take a rocket scientist to coach a professional football team, but, of course, I was one of the few who happened to be a rocket scientist.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Intelligence People Self Sports

My choice early in life was either to be a piano-player in a whorehouse or a politician; and to tell the truth, there’s hardly any difference.

(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president
Government People Politicians Self

Elvis may have been the king of rock 'n' roll, but I am the queen.

Richard Penniman (1932 – ) American singer & pianist
Entertainment Music People Self

I was born in 1962… and the room next to me was 1963.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age People Self

I didn’t get a lot of awards as a player… but they did have a Bob Uecker Day Off for me once in Philly.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Self Sports

I know I’m God because when I pray to him I find I’m talking to myself.

(1931 – 2004) English playwright & screenwriter
Beliefs God People Self

Narcissist: Psychoanalytic term for the person who loves himself more than his analyst.

Definitions People Self

I’m not very domestic… for years my children though mold was a frosting.

(1951 – ) American author, playwright & lyricist
Cooking Food/Drink People Self

Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.)

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Intelligence Language Self

I’m so gay, I could put a lisp in the word ‘cracker.'

(1967 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
People Self

My shrink told me that my happiness was stress related.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Emotions Happiness Self

The doctor says he has to amputate all of me.

comedian
Doctors Health People Self

I’m not only Iranian, I’m also Jewish, and I know what you’re thinking… you’re thinking, ‘Wow, he’s Iranian and Jewish; I don’t know if I should hate him or hate him.’

American standup-comedian
Emotions People Self