Subject: Places (Page 13)

I was just vacationing in Amsterdam, where prostitution is legal; let me rephrase that – I was just vacationing in Amsterdam because prostitution is legal.

American comedian & writer
Activities Places Travel

We have no gay people in Russia; there are homosexuals but they are not allowed to be gay about it.

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
Places

If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck.

(1934 – ) comedian
England People Places

I saw a tree fall in the woods, and I didn’t hear it.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Places Things

Toronto is a kind of New York operated by the Swiss.

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author
Places

A lot of smart young people have come out of Indiana; the smarter they are, the faster they come out.

(1866 – 1944) American writer, newspaper columnist, playwright & humorist
People Places

The thing I love about Vegas is that it’s a melting pot; it’s like working Ellis Island.

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Places

Studies show 1 in 5 British teens are unable to peel an orange… it’s a good job they’ve all got knives then.

(1961 – ) English standup comedian, actor & writer
England People Places

We were the country that has more food to eat than any other country in the world, and with more diets to keep us from eating it.

Food/Drink Places

But obviously, we’ve got to stand with our North Korean allies.

(1964 – ) U.S. governor (Alaska) commentator & author
Misspokements Places

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Characteristics Clothing Communication Lies Truth World

So I'm at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Fools Intelligence Places

What middle class? … there's only seven people left in the middle class – who cares about them?

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
America People Places

Talking to the British about sex is like talking to Americans about reading; nobody does it so why talk about it?

(1959 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & television host
England People Places Sex

The results of a new study are out this week saying that New Jersey is one of the most livable states in the country; the study has a margin of error of 100 percent.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Places

I think, in 10 years, hell's gonna be the only place left where you can still smoke.

(1965 – ) American comedian
Activities Future Places Time

He was once visiting the French Quarter during a hurricane and got blown behind a dumpster.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
People Places Sex

Half the people in Hollywood are dying to be discovered and the other half are afraid they will be.

(1878 – 1954) American actor of stage, screen & radio
Hollywood People Places

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Health Old Places

You cannot trust people who have such bad cuisine; it is the country with the worst food after Finland.

(1932 – ) French statesman & president
England Food/Drink Places

I have a large seashell collection, which I keep scattered on beaches all over the world.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Places World