Subject: Places (Page 8)

They live so deep in the woods they kept possums as yard dogs.

Animals Expressions Places Situations

What do you call an honest Iranian businessman? … Asif.

(1965 – ) British-Iranian comedian, actor & writer
Beliefs Honesty People Places

The first place to look for anything is the last place you would expect to find it.

Murphy’s Laws Places Things

There is no doubt in my mind when history was written, the final page will say: Victory was achieved by the United States of America for the good of the world.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
America Conflict Places War World

All Englishmen talk as if they’ve got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
England Insults Places Speech

Mason-Dixon Line: A geographical division between “you all” and “youse guys.”

Definitions Places

No matter how many times I visit this great city I'm always struck by the same thing: a yellow taxi cab.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Places

There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Family Places Relationships

To me the outdoors is what you must pass through in order to get from your apartment into a taxicab.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Places

Kinko's is my favorite copy place cause it's open 24 hours, like if it's three in the morning, and I suddenly decide I need two of something, I'm covered.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Places

I liked Amsterdam… I spent $2,000 window shopping.

(1957 – ) American comedian
Places Sex Shopping

I really don't like living there; I have to for health reasons; I'm very paranoid, and New York's the only place where my fears are justified.

American comedian
Health New York City Places

The world is more complicated than most of our theories make it out to be.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Places World

A bunch of people in New York said, “Gee, I’m enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn’t cold enough… let’s go west.”

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Places

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Places

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed.

(1904 – 1963) American journalist
America England Food/Drink Places

I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States; the only thing is – I could be just as proud for half the money.

(1903 – 1983) American radio and television broadcaster & entertainer
America Government Money Places Taxes

America: A land where a citizen will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, and won’t cross the street to vote in a national election.

America Definitions Places

America is a melting pot, the people at the bottom get burned while all the scum floats to the top.

American folksinger & activist
America Places

The town had the coldest temperature in all the contagious states.

America Malaprops Places

The Norwegian language has been described as German spoken underwater.

Communication Language Places