Subject: Places (Page 7)

In Scotland the forbidden fruit is fruit.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Food/Drink Places

It is not necessary to have relatives in Kansas City to be unhappy.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Family Insults Places Relationships

America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real, but the moon landing was faked.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
America Places

The plain truth is, that he was a most intolerable ruffian, a disgrace to human nature, and a blot of blood and grease upon the history of England.

(1812 – 1870) English novelist
England Insults People Places

In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a duty, but in Chicago it’s a sport.

(1932 – 2017) comedian, social activist, critic & writer
Activities Elections/Voting Government Places Sports

Hollywood made a movie of my life; the film had me proposing to my wife on the football field… I would never misuse a football field that way.

American football player
Football Hollywood Places Sports

L.A. is very dangerous; I carry a gun in my car, that way, in case the police stop me, I can fend them off until the press gets there.

American actor & writer
Arms Conflict Places

We went to Alaska once and they made us honorary Alaskans. Then we went to Hawaii and they made us honorary Hawaiians. We're going to the Virgin Islands this year.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball Places Sports

If soccer was an American soft drink, it would be Diet Pepsi.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
America Places Sports

We would need less gun control is we had better birth control.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
America Places

You know it is summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer.

(1892 – 1992) American film & television producer & director
Places Science/Weather

Some is good, more is better, too much is just right.

America Murphy’s Laws Things

I've arranged with my executor to be buried in Chicago, because when I die, I want to still remain active politically.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Death Places Politics

It only takes a room of Americans for the English and Australians to realize how much we have in common.

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director
Characteristics England People Places

It requires a surgical operation to get a joke well into a Scotch understanding.

(1771 – 1845) English writer & Anglican clergyman
Entertainment People Places

Irish people are Italians who can’t dress, Jamaicans who can’t dance.

(1960 – ) Irish singer-songwriter, musician, philanthropist & publicity seeker
People Places

Police: Bank Robber Had Shopping Addiction

Headlines New York City Places

I knew these Siamese twins; they moved to England, so the other one could drive.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Driving England Places

You're an old-timer if you can remember when setting the world on fire was a figure of speech.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Age Communication Language Old Speech World

In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above… so I never have to go upstairs.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Places

The English find ill-health not only interesting but respectable and often experience death in the effort to avoid a fuss.

(1908 – 1967) English novelist
England Health People Places