Subject: Reviews/Criticism (Page 21)

You used to be able to depend on a bad film being poorly made. No longer. The Punisher: War Zone [sic] is one of the best-made bad movies I’ve seen… Its only flaw is that it’s disgusting.

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter
Reviews/Criticism

If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination.

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter
Reviews/Criticism

A critic often has to play the role of coroner, dissecting a work to find out why it died (or never lived). 

(1959 – ) American film critic
Reviews/Criticism

Listen, dear, you couldn’t write f**k in the dust on a Venetian blind.

(1913 – 1991) Australian actress
Reviews/Criticism

I think that the film Clueless was very deep; I think it was deep in the way that it was very light; I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness.

(1976 – ) American actress
Reviews/Criticism

Whew! That was close: something almost happened there for a minute.

writer, editor & film reviewer
Reviews/Criticism

It’s The Exorcist meets The Wicker Man and a bad time is had by all, the audience included. – “The Observer”

film critic
Reviews/Criticism

It was a book to kill time for those who like it better dead.

(1881 – 1958) English novelist
Books Communication Reviews/Criticism

He’s a writer for the ages… for the ages of four to eight.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Communication Reading/Writing Reviews/Criticism

Can’t act. Slightly bald. Also dances.

Reviews/Criticism

This movie is not merely bad, but incompetent. I get tapes in the mail from 10th graders that are better made than this… I have often asked myself, “What would it look like if the characters in a movie were animatronic puppets created by aliens with an imperfect mastery of human behavior?” Now I know.

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter
Reviews/Criticism

Caligula is sickening, utterly worthless, shameful trash. If it is not the worst film I have ever seen, that makes it all the more shameful.

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter
Reviews/Criticism

Did the studio put so little faith in this snowball of ineptitude that the filmmakers couldn’t even afford a tripod?

film critic
Reviews/Criticism

This had all the drama of a traffic jam.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism

Orlando Bloom was so wooden he could have played the horse.

Irish film critic
Acting Reviews/Criticism

Michael Madsen? Michelle Rodriguez? ‘I’ll take “Actors Who Should Never Appear in Period Pieces” for $500, Alex.’

writer, editor & film reviewer
Reviews/Criticism

It's the worst kind of bad film: the kind that gets you all worked up and then lets you down, instead of just being lousy from the first shot.

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter
Reviews/Criticism

Though I could follow the outline of the story and found some of the images memorable, the meaning of it all eluded me. There was a child in the audience, but unfortunately she left during the final credits, so I was unable to turn to her for elucidation.

film critic
Reviews/Criticism

His [George Bush] popularity rating – his approval rating – with blacks: two percent… two percent… that is somewhere between Mark Fuhrman and sickle cell anemia.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Insults People Reviews/Criticism

Not nearly as awful as everyone seems to think it is.

film reviewer
Reviews/Criticism

Psst! DreamWorks! Your Nemo envy is showing!

writer, editor & film reviewer
Reviews/Criticism