Reviews/Criticism | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Reviews/Criticism (Page 26)

Let’s see, Ben Affleck is stuck with Sandra Bullock in a small vehicle, and they’re driving all the way to Georgia. Is he going to fall in love with her even though they’re complete opposites? Holy shit, I think so.

Mr. Cranky

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)

Reviews/Criticism “Forces of Nature”

There’s not a scene… that isn’t awful.

Mark Palermo

American writer & film critic

Reviews/Criticism “Because I Said So”

The only thing I didn’t like about The Barretts of Wimpole Street was the play.

Dorothy Parker

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Reviews/Criticism “Barretts of Wimpole Street” Theater

In the first movement alone, I took note of six pregnancies and at least four miscarriages.

Thomas Beecham

(1879 – 1961) English conductor

Communication Music Reviews/Criticism On Bruckner's Seventh Symphony

I am sitting in the smallest room of my house; I have your review before me… in a moment it shall be behind me.

Max Reger

(1873 – 1916) German composer, conductor, pianist & teacher

Insults Reviews/Criticism Letter to critic Rudolph Louis

You used to be able to depend on a bad film being poorly made. No longer. The Punisher: War Zone [sic] is one of the best-made bad movies I’ve seen… Its only flaw is that it’s disgusting.

Roger Ebert

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

Reviews/Criticism Review of “Punisher: War Zone”

I can sum it up like this: no boobs, no blood, no point. Walk away from this one please!

Beth Accomando

film critic

Reviews/Criticism “The Roommate”

“ …as fascinating as chewing styrofoam – with the occasional firecracker jammed in to make you chew faster.

Rubin Safaya

film critic

Reviews/Criticism “Terminator Salvation”

Overheard at the pitch meeting: “So what if The Terminator was like, um… a sexy lady in a red leather get-up?” “Sold!”

Scott Tobias

film editor, writer & reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Eve of Destruction”

My name is Bob, and I am a father who is very afraid.

Bob Thompson

movie writer, reviewer & columnist

Reviews/Criticism Of “Pokemon the First Movie”

Barbra’s only spontaneous moment in Prince of Tides comes when Nick tosses her a football and she screams “My nails!”

Libby Gelman-Waxner

(Paul Rudnick) (1957 – ) Satiric film critic & author

Acting Reviews/Criticism “Prince of Tides” Barbra Streisand

A totally stupid movie, Star Trek Into Darkness falls apart as it goes, raining debris as it implodes like a building being demolished.

Devin Faraci

film critic

Reviews/Criticism “Star Trek Into Darkness”

They say state-of-the-art special effects can create the illusion of anything on the screen, and now we have proof: It's possible for the Jim Henson folks and Industrial Light and Magic to put their heads together and come up with the most repulsive single creature in the history of special effects, and I am not forgetting the Chucky doll…

Roger Ebert

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

Reviews/Criticism Review of “Jack Frost”

If they'd stuffed the child's head up the horse's arse, they would have solved two problems at once.

Noel Coward

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

Reviews/Criticism Theater When the opening night of the London musical “Gone With the Wind” was marred by an obnoxious young actress and a horse that relieved itself onstage

It’s truly rare that you see this level of insightful childhood psychoanalysis in a film about a basketball-playing dog.

Mr. Cranky

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)

Reviews/Criticism “Air Bud”

By trying to convince us that we’re having a good time even as it pounds us senseless, Speed Racer moves beyond mediocrity and into the realm of active irritant.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Speed Racer”

This couple has endured for over 900 years; the least Tristan & Isolde can do is show us a reason why.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Tristan & Isolde”

Beethoven always sounds to me like the upsetting of a bag of nails, with here and there also a dropped hammer.

John Ruskin

(1819 – 1900) English art critic, social thinker, poet & artist

Entertainment Music Reviews/Criticism Beethoven

It’s not giving away the surprises that ruins the movie, it’s the surprises that ruin the movie… this director is a young dog who needs some new tricks.

Mark Steyn

(1959 – ) Canadian-born writer, political commentator & cultural critic

Reviews/Criticism “The Village”

The movie is too busy being thuggish bilge to note the irony of using every tank and missile at Ice Cube’s disposal to rescue a U.S. president about to downgrade defense spending.

Tim Robey

English journalist

Reviews/Criticism “xXx: The Next Level”

Only enormously talented people could have made Death to Smoochy. Those with lesser gifts would have lacked the nerve to make a film so bad, so miscalculated, so lacking any connection with any possible audience.

Roger Ebert

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

Reviews/Criticism “Death to Smoochy”

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Subject: Reviews/Criticism (Page 26)

Let’s see, Ben Affleck is stuck with Sandra Bullock in a small vehicle, and they’re driving all the way to Georgia. Is he going to fall in love with her even though they’re complete opposites? Holy shit, I think so.

There’s not a scene… that isn’t awful.

The only thing I didn’t like about The Barretts of Wimpole Street was the play.

In the first movement alone, I took note of six pregnancies and at least four miscarriages.

I am sitting in the smallest room of my house; I have your review before me… in a moment it shall be behind me.

You used to be able to depend on a bad film being poorly made. No longer. The Punisher: War Zone [sic] is one of the best-made bad movies I’ve seen… Its only flaw is that it’s disgusting.

I can sum it up like this: no boobs, no blood, no point. Walk away from this one please!

“ …as fascinating as chewing styrofoam – with the occasional firecracker jammed in to make you chew faster.

Overheard at the pitch meeting: “So what if The Terminator was like, um… a sexy lady in a red leather get-up?” “Sold!”

My name is Bob, and I am a father who is very afraid.

Barbra’s only spontaneous moment in Prince of Tides comes when Nick tosses her a football and she screams “My nails!”

A totally stupid movie, Star Trek Into Darkness falls apart as it goes, raining debris as it implodes like a building being demolished.

If they'd stuffed the child's head up the horse's arse, they would have solved two problems at once.

It’s truly rare that you see this level of insightful childhood psychoanalysis in a film about a basketball-playing dog.

By trying to convince us that we’re having a good time even as it pounds us senseless, Speed Racer moves beyond mediocrity and into the realm of active irritant.

This couple has endured for over 900 years; the least Tristan & Isolde can do is show us a reason why.

Beethoven always sounds to me like the upsetting of a bag of nails, with here and there also a dropped hammer.

It’s not giving away the surprises that ruins the movie, it’s the surprises that ruin the movie… this director is a young dog who needs some new tricks.

The movie is too busy being thuggish bilge to note the irony of using every tank and missile at Ice Cube’s disposal to rescue a U.S. president about to downgrade defense spending.

Only enormously talented people could have made Death to Smoochy. Those with lesser gifts would have lacked the nerve to make a film so bad, so miscalculated, so lacking any connection with any possible audience.