Subject: Sex (Page 21)

Cunnilingus 101 for Christians

Book Titles Sex

The three words you never want to hear while making love… honey, I'm home.


Sex Situations

When women can't climax, it's our fault, but when we can't get an erection, we have to go to the doctor.

(1967 – ) Honduran-born American comedian, writer & actor
Men People Sex Women

My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee; unfortunately, she was just coming home.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Clothing Sex Wives

Better at sex than anyone; now all he needs is a partner.

Insults Sex

Mary: Could the reason you can’t find a guy is because you’re letting them ride the rollercoaster without buying a ticket?

Penny: Oh, they don’t always get to ride the roller coaster. Sometimes they only get to spin the teacups.

(1985 – ) American actress
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Stand-up is a lot like sex… there’s a lot of crying involved and I get paid to do it.

(1982 – ) American actress & comedian
Entertainment Sex

I married a German; every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me.

(1945 – ) singer, actress & comedian
Activities Conflict Places Sex

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Health Sex Situations

My husband's penis is like a semicolon… I can't remember what it's for and I never use it anyway.

British comedian
Family People Sex

Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Activities Clothing Sex Things Women

Ecstasy: Happiness with its clothes off.

Definitions Emotions Happiness Sex

Beat Your Way to the Top: Masturbation as a technique for business success

Book Titles Sex

Sex Education: Sermon on the mount.

Definitions Sex Wordplay

Familiarity breeds contempt… and children.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Children People Sex

Abstinence makes the heart go wander.

Sex Wordplay

Quickie: No sooner spread than done.

Definitions Sex

Men have two emotions: hungry and horny; if you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Food/Drink Men People Sex

Suzanne, if sex were fast food, there’d be an arch over your bed!

(1939 – 2010) American actress
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

If Miss means respectably unmarried, and Mrs. respectably married, then Ms. means nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

(1940 – 1992) English writer
Language Marriage Sex

I once walked in on my grandparents making love… and that’s why I don’t eat raisins.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor
Appearance Sex Situations