Subject: Sex (Page 27)

I've always have this fantasy to make love to two women – you know, in the same year.

television writer, actor
Sex

Bragging that you had sex with a prostitute is like bragging that you got Doritos out of a vending machine.

(1974 – ) American comedian
Sex

The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Divorce Marriage Sex

Any idiot can get laid when they’re famous… that’s easy… it’s getting laid when you’re not famous that takes some talent.

(1958 – ) American film & theater actor
Sex Success

The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid; girls got pinned, not nailed.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Age Dating Sex

Virginity is a balloon in the carnival of life, that vanishes with the first prick.

Sex

When I went to school, sex education was mainly muttered warnings about the janitor.

(1972 – ) Scottish comedian
Education School Sex

Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy sometimes results in sex.

(1901 – 2000) English author
Men People Sex Women

A sexagenarian? At his age? I think that’s disgusting!

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Age Misspokements Old Sex TV/Movie Quotes

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people… between five, it's fantastic.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Sex

When you've been around as long as me… you'll know that there are three types of sex… One – brand-new, kitchen-table sex; Two – bedroom sex; then number three – hallway sex… when you pass each other in the hallway and say 'f**k you.’

(1958 – ) Australian author
Age Sex

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Sex

My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her, so I said "Alright, fatty."

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Sex

Last time I was here a girl asked me for sex; I had to disappoint her… we had sex.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Sex

And if you had what other men have, I wouldn't need batteries anymore.

(1954 – ) American actress & singer-songwriter
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

In every group of girlfriends, there’s that one who is the sluttiest; if you don’t have that friend, you’re that friend.

(1981 – ) American Comedian
Girlfriends People Sex

Before sleeping together today, people should boil themselves.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Sex

During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me; just the other night she called me from a hotel.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Communication Sex Speech

Sex isn't necessary; you don't die without it – but you can die having it.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Sex

Life in Lubbock, Texas taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell; the other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth, and you should save it for someone you love.

(1945 – ) American country/folk musician & song writer
Beliefs Life Places Religion Sex

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Emotions Laughter Sex