Subject: Sex (Page 28)

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them.

(1955– ) writer & screenwriter
Conversation Men People Sex Women

They say the best exercise takes place in the bedroom; I believe it, because that's where I get the most resistance.

comedian
Activities Exercise Sex

The Beginners Guide to Sex In the Afterlife

Book Titles Sex

I reckon porn gives kids an unrealistic idea of what it’s like to be a plumber.


Sex

The closest I ever came to a menage-a-trois was when I dated a schizophrenic.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Sex

As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex… except for salami and eggs; now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Eating Food/Drink Life Sex

The difference between a child’s toy and an adult toy is: location, location, location.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Sex Things

Easy: Used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.

Definitions People Sex Women

My wife told me she likes to have sex in the back seat of the car. I drove her and that guy around all night.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Autos Sex Things

I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators… I left early.

(1894 – 1974) comedian, radio & television host
Sex Time

(Paul is licking wedding invitation envelopes) Jamie Buchman: How are you holding up?
Paul Buchman: Well, if I had two more tongues, I’d be the happiest person on Earth.
Jamie Buchman: (lights a cigarette) Second happiest.

(1963 – ) American actress, film director & screenwriter
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Sex between two people is a beautiful thing – between five it's fantastic.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Sex

The closest I’ve ever come to saying "no" [to a woman] is "Not now, we’re landing."

(1947) is an American actor, author & producer
Sex

Is that a ten-gallon hat [resting on a cowboy's lap] or are you just enjoying the show?

(1942 – 1999) American actress
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Know why it takes so many sperm to fertilize one egg – cause none of those f**kers will ask for directions.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Sex

And for the record, all marriages are same sex marriages; you get married, and every night, it’s the same sex.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Marriage Sex Wordplay

There is nothing wrong with making love with the light on… just make sure the car door is closed.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Autos Sex Situations Things

Sex is like a game of bridge… if you don't have a good partner, you need a good hand.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Activities Games Sex

You have nooo idea… the difference in sex drive between a man and woman is like the difference between shooting a bullet and throwing it.

(1953 – ) American comedian, actor, voice artist, & columnist
Men People Sex Women

Sex isn't necessary; you don't die without it – but you can die having it.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Sex

Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Eating Food/Drink Sex